


Dying in the Waltz

by MissRebelAndHerRoses



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Age Difference, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Axl is a fragile bean o k, Beta is a mom, Borderline Personality Disorder/BPD, Duff is a mom, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Infant Death, Maybe some Axl/Duff but undecided, Mental Health Issues, Original work - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Slash is a good friend, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, age gap, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-14 01:23:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14125077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissRebelAndHerRoses/pseuds/MissRebelAndHerRoses
Summary: Thunderbolt was the only way to describe what Beta was witnessing between the girl who had fled New York and the man who had been through entirely too much pain.





	1. Thunderbolt

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first work on this site and I am super excited. I have also posted this story over on Ficwad.com under the name Rebel Rose. I hope you enjoy!  
> The cast in my mind is as follows for the Scott Family:  
> 1\. Martin Scott- Dermot Mulroney  
> 2\. Leah Scott- Kelly Rutherford  
> 3\. Thomas Scott- Cillian Murphy  
> 4\. Camille Scott- Holland Roden  
> 5\. Stella Scott- Katherine McNamara

Stella Scott and her siblings had lived a privileged and luxurious life thanks to the efforts of their father, Martin. While not much was asked about what the man did for work while at the dinner table, Stella had always assumed her father was a high up in one of the many major companies that called New York City its headquarters. Growing up on the Upper East Side, the Scott children enjoyed various social events, receiving education at one of the top private schools in the United States, and various luxury vacations. Everyone adored the Scott family, envied them even. They were the perfect family in every sense of the word.  
Martin was a handsome man in the brutish sense, his dark hair often kept cut short, clean shaven, but his broad shoulders and scowl caused him to look far more intimidating than Stella ever felt he was especially with how gentle and quiet he was towards his wife, Leah. Leah was your typical social climber trophy wife with beautiful blonde hair and delicate features that held a certain sternness about them and a voice that carried through the room as proper yet authoritative.  
Their three children were exactly what any parent would hope their child to be. Thomas, the eldest and only boy aged twenty-five, was absolutely stunning with dark hair, blue eyes that could pierce right through the heart of any girl or boy he chose, his jawline was sharp causing a great contrast to his nearly feminine features. Much to his father’s disapproval, Thomas found happiness in painting and in the company of other men. He was enrolled at Columbia due to his father’s insistence and despite his dismay.  
Camille Scott was the former It Girl of Westwood High, the private school Stella currently attended. Camille was twenty and was small with delicate features like her mother and a soft voice that rarely had to be raised as this was seen as completely improper according to her mother. Camille was engaged to a man of her father’s choice, not that she minded, and was due to be married in the spring before Stella’s graduation from Westwood.  
And finally, there was Stella, the youngest at only seventeen. Her features were delicate like her siblings’ and her mother’s; unlike her sister, Stella tried to prevent drawing attention to herself in school, remaining perfectly invisible and out of the way. She enjoyed spending time alone as it gave her plenty of time to write her poetry and short stories that allowed her to escape the world she lived in. While she enjoyed the gifts her father gave her and the vacations he paid for, she wished she could bond with her father on something more than a material level.  
While the Scott children had grown up with both parents, there was a certain lack of familiarity and too much formality between the children and their parents. The children had all been raised by nannies and housekeepers and had never found themselves to have anything in common with their parents. But nonetheless, all was well within the family as far as their day to day lives went. Or at least all was well until Stella received a phone call during lunch at school.  
“Stella, whatever you do, do not come home! Do you understand me? I’m sending a driver now, tell him to take you to the airport.” It was her mother, she was frantic. Stella’s stomach dropped at the urgency in her mother’s tear laced voice.  
\ “Mother? What’s happened?” Stella asked unable to get the final word out before her mother hung up the phone.  
“Stella Scott, report to the office.” The school’s intercom announced.  
And off Stella went to the driver waiting for her in the office to walk her to the car. Not knowing what lay ahead of her nor where the flight ahead of her would land. It was only after she was off the plane that her mother had informed her of the true nature of her father’s business…The don of the mafia.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Axl sighed softly, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette, as he sat in the windowsill of his mansion as he watched the sun sparkle on the water in distance. He couldn’t help but scoff at the way the outside world looked so happy and bright when his own world had become so dark and depressing. Life for Axl Rose was not all he had hoped it would be, it was far lonelier than he could have ever imagined it would be. His large home, once full of laughter and happiness, was now just a horrible reminder of what could have been. He could have had a wife, a family, a happy life but his selfish need for the approval of the world had ripped that dream away from him.  
“Axl, I just received a call from a former employer of mine and I need to ask a favor of you.” Beta said as she bit her lip, not normally one to ask favors from the man.  
“Anything for you, Beta.” Axl smiled at the woman who had come to be his confidant during the years when things had gotten dark and seemed hopeless.  
“I need a place for a girl to stay, somewhere safe. Her father has gotten mixed up into some awful trouble and she is in danger. I was wondering if you might be willing to open your home to her.” Beta questioned, a hopeful look filling her eyes.  
“I need more information about this girl before I just open my home up to her, especially if her father is mixed up in some sort of trouble.” Axl stated, a hand running through his long hair.  
“Her name is Stella Scott. She’s a girl from New York, very quiet. She attends a private school there and is seventeen, her birthday is in a week. I promise you, she is in no way a threat to you.” Beta assured, a gentle smile coming to her features when Axl offered a nod.  
“She may stay here. When does she arrive?” Axl questioned as he moved from his seat and put out his cigarette.  
“She will arrive in an hour, I was going to have her stay with me…But then I decided your home would probably be much more secure for her.” Beta explained.  
“See to it that she is picked up in one of my driver’s cars? Very dark windows and very discreet…I can’t have people talking, not now.” Axl instructed before moving to his piano where his sheet music was laid out and watched as Beta took her cue to leave him to his sulking.  
‘I’m getting to old for this.’ Axl thought as he stared at the sheet music, his thoughts on this girl coming to stay with him. Long gone were the days of his striking good looks and charismatic nature, how was he supposed to make this girl feel welcome when he could hardly engage in a conversation with those he’d known for years? He couldn’t have her thinking he was some old man who had agreed to let her stay only in hopes of bedding her because that wasn’t his intention in the slightest and he didn’t want this awful lie to develop and find its way to the internet and media sites. Because, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure that he could even tolerate the presence of another human being in his home when he’d fought so long to keep everyone away from him. Tearing himself away from his delusional, worried thought process he tried to focus on his sheet music.  
The hour passed quickly and soon there was a knock on his bedroom door.  
“It’s open.” He called as he played his piano, eyes closed as he tried to listen for the bit of the song he couldn’t seem to perfect.  
“Mr. Rose, I would like you to meet Stella Scott.” Beta said as she and the girl entered the room causing Axl to stop his composing.  
Axl stood from his piano and turned, stopping in his tracks when he saw the brilliant red-haired girl who was staring at him with wide green eyes that held a certain fear to them that pulled the strings in Axl’s heart, causing his chest to ache.  
“Call me Axl, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Axl said once he could find his voice again, shifting awkwardly at the piercing stare of his new house guest. “I’d like you to make yourself at home, just…Stay out of the room in the basement, that’s my studio.”  
“Yes sir.” Stella said softly as Beta left the room to ensure that Stella’s things were being placed into the proper room. “I-I should go.” Stella said, but unable to take her eyes of the mysterious man before her.  
“Would you like me to show you the home? It’s actually very easy to get lost…Believe me, I did when I first moved in.” Axl admitted, earning a small and musical laugh from the quiet girl.  
“I’d like that. I’d rather not get lost.” Stella smiled as she tucked a strand of her red hair behind her ear, stepping aside for Axl to take the lead.  
“So, this is my room…Obviously.” Axl said, instantly feeling like a total idiot and mentally slapping himself as he led the girl out of his room and into the hall.  
“The end of the hall is a library with a nice view, if you’re into that...Um, these two rooms are bedrooms.” He said as he pointed to the rooms. “Each bedroom has its own bathroom, so you’ll have plenty of room for your things and plenty of privacy.” He said before leading her down the hall and down the grand staircase and through the living area, kitchen, and various dens.  
“Outside is a tennis court, a pool, basketball hoop, and a gym is located in the pool house.” Axl said as he concluded his tour, walking her up to her room.  
“This is your room.” He said as he led her into the large ocean view room with large windows that gave no obstruction to the beautiful view of the water.  
“Thank you, Axl.” Stella said softly unable to tear her eyes away from the man still.  
Beta watched the pair from the bathroom as she put the girl’s things away. She had seen plenty of people absolutely awestruck over Axl, but not once had she seen the look Axl had on his features and in his eyes. Beta decided she needed to intervene before Axl got hurt.  
“Stella, would you like to join me in the kitchen for a snack? I’m sure you’re hungry.” Beta said as she walked from the bathroom causing the two to rip their gazes from one another and to look at Beta.  
“I-I would love to.” Stella smiled and glanced to Axl again.  
“Meet me down in the kitchen, dear. I’ll be right down.” Beta said and watched for Stella to leave and begin her descent down the stairs before turning to Axl. “Be careful, she’s too young.” Was all she said before turning around to follow the girl.  
Axl’s brows furrowed at Beta’s words, what did she mean? He’d only tried to be polite and make the girl feel welcome in his home. How dare she insinuate that any sort of inappropriate thought was entering his mind. With a huff, he moved back into his room to work on the song he was composing. It was within the first moments of studying the sheet music that he found what he was missing from his song.  
Downstairs, Stella couldn’t help but smile as the sound of Axl’s piano filled the house. She had always loved the piano and fondly thought of when her mother paid for private lessons from one of the most elite professors at Julliard.  
“He’s a wonderful musician.” Stella said, breaking the silence as she picked of the crust of her sandwich and looked up to Beta who smiled in return and nodded. “I remember listening to Guns N’ Roses with my older brother, Thomas…My father hated their music, but I could never get enough of it. My favorite songs were always those in which Axl played the piano, it added an extra softness to their slower love songs.” Stella decided and bit her lip when she heard an obvious mistake being made in the composition followed by an abrupt stop. “He’s been having a lot of trouble with this newest song. But he’ll get it right, he always does.” Beta said as she threw away what was left of their food. “Now, I need to ask you to do something for me.”  
“Anything.” Stella said, Beta had done so much for her the least she could do was return the favor.  
“Keep your distance from Axl...You’re a very beautiful girl and the last thing he needs right now is to be distracted from his work no matter what your intentions may be. You are still underage and Axl does not need his employees talking to the press and spreading rumors about the two of you.” Beta stated, earning a nod from the young girl.  
“I understand…But please know that while I’m a fan of his music, I in no way wish to be a groupie to him.” Stella made a face at the thought. “It goes against everything I believe in.”  
Beta smiled and placed her hand on Stella’s, patting it gently. “I’m glad to hear that.”  
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to my room and rest….I need some time to process all that has happened today.” Stella could feel a panic attack rising in her chest as the entire situation began to set in and become a reality.  
“Of course.” Beta said and frowned as she watched Stella run up the stairs, closing the door to her room so it echoed through the large home.  
Beta knew it would take some time, but she knew it would all work itself out. She just hoped Axl wouldn’t get hurt in the process of it all.


	2. The Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl and Stella get to know one another, much to Beta's dismay.

As Stella entered her room, she found her breath getting caught in her throat in the most unpleasant way possible. It was as though her entire world was caving in on her, the walls of the room that were meant to protect her were now closing in to attack her. Letting out a soft cry of distress, she sank to the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. She’d had anxiety attacks before but never one so intense. But then again, she’d never been in such a situation. Her father, the man who loved her and cared for her, was the ring leader of the biggest mafia in all the United States. How could this have happened? How could she have not known? Why hadn’t he told them? 

After what seemed like hours of crying and trying so desperately not to draw attention to herself from any of Axl’s employees or even Axl himself, Stella finally managed to calm her erratic breathing and moved to her feet. She moved to the bathroom and splashed some cool water over her face, she needed to remain calm in this situation. She couldn’t do anything about the situation and needed to make the best of it. She just wished she were able to contact her mother, find out if everyone was alright, or at least alive but she’d been given strict instructions not to call. Calling could give away her hiding spot and cause the men after her and her family to come to Axl’s home.   
She eventually found her way to the window, sitting in the chair that faced the beautiful ocean view. It was so bright, so blue, so different than anything she’d ever seen in New York.   
She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Axl playing his piano, letting out a soft sigh as she fully calmed down and thoughts of Axl soon filled her thoughts. He’d been so different from what she’d ever expected him to be and so different from what he once had been in interviews and on stage. He was quiet, bordering socially awkward, and intense. He held a certain sadness to him that Stella could see very clearly in his eyes. What could have possibly have happened to such a successful, talented, and charismatic musician that would cause him to hold such an intense sorrow in those green eyes? It appeared that he had everything anyone could ever want.   
The sound of the piano music grew sorrowful and dark after a brief pause. The song seemed to match the entire atmosphere of the large and lonely house that sat away from all other homes on the mountain. Stella moved to the bed from the chair as the sun began to set. She was tired, ready for the awful day to end and the next day to begin so that she might be able to begin picking up the pieces of her life.   
______________________________________________________

Axl woke in the middle of the night with a start, bolting straight up in bed. Another nightmare had plagued him, it had been happening a lot lately. Rolling out of bed, he moved to pull his robe on to cover his shirtless torso before heading quietly out into the hall and to the library. Reading always helped clear his head and allowed him to go back to bed after such a horrible dream. When he entered, he couldn’t help but notice the brilliant red hair peaking over the back of his favorite chair that faced the fireplace.

“Stella?” He spoke quietly, running a hand through his hair in hopes of making it look a little more tamed. “What are you doing up, its nearly three in the morning.” He said as he glanced to the grandfather clock that sat in the corner of the room. 

“I could ask you the same.” Stella said, not daring to turn to the older man, not wanting him to see her crying. This struck Axl as odd and he moved to take the seat next to her, freezing when he saw the tears cascading down her cheeks and welling up in her eyes.  
“You’re crying.” Axl grew concerned. “What’s happened?” 

“I-I….” She paused and drew in a shaky breath before continuing, “it’s hard to function, much less sleep, when you’ve just found out your father is not who you had grown up thinking he was. W-When you don’t know when you’ll see your mother or siblings again.”  
“Would you like me to arrange with Beta to contact them?” He asked, eyes never leaving the girl’s face, his heart aching in a way that he’d never felt before.

“It’s too dangerous. I don’t want them coming after you and Beta when you’ve been so kind to me.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, finally finding the courage to allow her green eyes to meet his. The feeling she’d had earlier returned and a sense of calm washed over her when their eyes locked.

“We will find a way to make your reunion possible, even if it is risky. Everyone deserves the chance to see their loved ones, especially after something so horrible has happened. Are you okay?” Axl asked, needing to know that the poor girl was managing to hold herself together in some form or fashion.

“I’m surviving.” She answered and wiped more tears from her eyes.

“Surviving.” Axl repeated, eyes not leaving hers. He’d only survived for years, he knew the awful feeling all too well, he just hoped she learned to live again. 

“Why are you awake?” Stella asked, desperate to turn the conversation away from herself. She hated seeming weak and hated her problems being the center of a conversation.

“Woke up, couldn’t go back to sleep.” Axl lied smoothly and shrugged.

“Is that why you were shouting?” She asked, her green eyes beginning to pierce directly into Axl’s very soul and causing him to shift uncomfortably at the intensity of the gaze.

“I have nightmares occasionally. I had a nightmare tonight, I assure you I’m fine and I apologize if I disturbed you.” He said, ripping his gaze from hers and turning it to look to the fireplace in front of them.

“What are your nightmares about? You’re past? Indiana?” The question caused Axl’s heart to drop into his stomach, his pulse rise, and his cheeks heat up. So, she was a fan…. A fan who knew quite a bit about him. Great.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business. I suggest you keep those kinds of personal questions to yourself.” Axl snapped, sounding far harsher than he had intended. Instantly regretting it when he saw her flinch and shrink back under the intensity of his angry glare. He shouldn’t have been so harsh with the girl for asking such simple questions, but he couldn’t risk her running off to post it on Twitter. He didn’t know that she would, but he had nothing to prove that she wouldn’t. 

“I was only asking. I figured we were having some sort of moment.” Stella said as she stood and moved towards the window and away from him.

“I don’t do soppy moments. I don’t like such personal questions being asked because I don’t like talking about what happened to me.” Axl tried to explain, trying to keep his voice leveled. 

“I understand. My brother Thomas is the same way, not that he can help it.” She shrugged as she gazed out the window. “My father always gave him such a hard time that it’s only reasonable for Thomas to shut people out.”

“I can relate. Life with Stephen Bailey wasn’t a walk in Candyland either.” Axl let out a bitter laugh and clasps his hands in front of him as he leans forward. Stella glances back at him, a small and sympathetic smile crossing her delicate features.

“If you ever feel like talking about it, I’m a good listener.” She said as she moved back to her chair, a hand reaching out to touch his.

“Thank you, Stella.” He said softly as he offered a soft smile. “I hear you have a birthday coming up in a week. Is there anything you would like for such a milestone?” 

“A song.” Stella laughed softly and leaned back slightly, moving her hands into her lap.

“Perhaps that can be arranged.” Axl laughed for the first time since Stella had known him. The laugh was just as musical as his singing voice, it filled the room and caused Stella’s heart to skip a beat. It was a sound that Stella would never tire of hearing and would do her best to make sure she heard that sound often.

“Make it a good one. No screeching, choir boy.” Stella teased as she stood, her hair falling forward as she looked down at the man who remained seated.

“Oh, now that was a cheap shot.” Axl chuckled and leaned back in his chair, enjoying the girl’s humor and finding no threat in her knowledge of him.

“I’m going to head to bed, try not to wake me again.” Stella grinned as she took a step back. “Goodnight, Axl Rose.” Stella bowed dramatically as she giggled. 

“Goodnight, Stella Scott.” Axl said softly, a smile plastering his features. He was glad to see that Stella’s mood had improved and he hoped she would finally be able to rest.  
__________________________________________________________________

The next morning, Stella woke to the sound of Axl’s piano, a happy song. It was far different from what she’d heard the night previous and couldn’t help but wonder if she had somehow contributed to his seemingly happy mood. She hoped she had. After a moment or two of listening to the cheerful song, she moved to get up and get dressed. She dressed in her usual dark jeans and lowcut top, she curled her hair as she normally did and applied the dark eye makeup and dramatic eyeliner she hadn’t had time to put on the previous day before school.   
She moved down to the kitchen and noticed nobody had been in the kitchen since the previous night. It was in this moment that Stella was glad she’d taken those cooking lessons her mother had insisted she took. After a bit of searching through cabinets in the large kitchen to find the proper pots and pans, she got to work on making breakfast. After she’d prepared the breakfast, she set it on a tray and headed up to Axl’s room, knocking on the door.

“Come in!” Axl called over the sound of the piano. Stella opened the door and walked in, smiling softly as she held the tray out and set it on the piano.

“I made you some breakfast.” She said as she leaned against the piano, her eyes meeting his as they always did. 

“You didn’t have to go through all of this trouble.” Axl said, looking at the beautiful meal in disbelief. Nobody had ever cooked him breakfast before, not without him asking at least.

“It’s the least I could do, seeing as you are letting me stay here and have been so kind to me.” Stella shrugged as she stole a piece of toast before pushing the tray towards Axl.

“Thank you, Stella.” Axl smiled as he stood to eat, starting on the eggs first.

“I was wondering if I could hang out with you today, considering I don’t really have anyone else to talk to and can’t access anything on my phone.” Stella said as she finished the piece of toast.

“I’d like that very much. I was hoping to get some gardening done, would you like to help me? I find it’s very calming.” He stated earning a surprised look from Stella.

“Mr. Big Time Rockstar gardens?” Stella raised a brow. “Well aren’t you full of surprises.” 

“You have no idea. Not all rockstars snort cocaine and try to bed everything that moves, you know?” Axl gently nudged her causing Stella to gently bump him back.  
“Fuck off.” She laughed.

The two sat and talked about random things as Axl finished his meal. It wasn’t long until Beta interrupted them wanting to make sure the two weren’t staring at one another they had been upon Stella’s first arrival. She couldn’t risk Axl falling for a girl so many years his junior. She knew he would never act on such feelings until the girl was of age, but she couldn’t stand to think what the press would think of such a young girl living with Axl. Not only would it hurt record sales and his reputation, it would also add to the long list of lies swirling around the poor man. Those lies affected him greatly and Beta couldn’t stand to think of her friend in that type of pain again, she’d seen Axl come close to suicide and she wasn’t about to let it happen again.

“Stella, why don’t you take the tray downstairs? I need to speak with Axl alone.” Beta said with a gentle smile, not wanting to upset the girl. Once Stella had made her exit, Beta turned to Axl with a disapproving look. 

“Just what is it you think you are doing?” Beta asked and crossed her arms. “I heard you flirting up a storm in here, you need to protect your heart Axl. You know what people will say if any of the employees around here leak to the press that you are spending so much time with this girl. Keep your distance, she’s too young for you.”

“Beta, I’m not flirting! I’m simply trying to make her feel welcome in this home, isn’t that what you wanted?” He crossed his arms, green eyes piercing into the older woman as he waited for her to answer.

“I see the way you look at her, Axl. I’m not a fool.” Was all Beta replied before turning on her heel and leaving, she wasn’t going to argue with him.

Axl sighed in frustration and moved away from his piano, pacing along the length of his room. He wasn’t flirting with her! Well…Maybe he was, but only a little and he hadn’t even meant to. How dare Beta accuse him of such things, he would never act on any sort of attraction to Stella while she was underage and without her consent. He wasn’t his father nor his stepfather, he was a decent man who valued women and viewed them as his equal. Did Beta seriously think he would take advantage of her?

“Axl! I’ll be in the garden after I change!” Stella called from her room down the hall, pulling Axl from his thoughts. 

“I’ll be down in a minute!” Axl called back, a grin spreading over his face as he made his way to his dresser to select clothes okay to garden in. Once he’d gotten changed, he headed downstairs and outside into the garden. 

“So where do we start?” Stella questioned as she came outside in Nike shorts, tennis shoes, an older t-shirt, and her hair up. Even then she somehow managed to look stylish and managed to take Axl’s breath away. 

“You can start by watering those plants over there, I’m going to start by pulling these weeds.” Axl said as he moved to his knees by the plant bed he was standing near. 

“I think I can manage that.” Stella grinned as she moved to turn on the hose and water the plants. “Have you always enjoyed gardening?” Stella questioned as she worked on her task, glancing back to Axl.

“Not always, only in recent years have I found it has a calming effect on me. When I was younger, I was too caught up in my anger towards the world and too busy being a rock star to worry too much about flowers.” Axl said as he pulled a weed and set it in the pile he was making.

“Where did you learn how to garden?” Stella questioned as she turned the hose off and moved to help Axl in pulling up the unwanted plants.

“My mother. She loved gardening, Stephen used to force my siblings and I to help her. He said it built character or some shit.” Axl shrugged. 

“You grew up in Indiana, right? There must have been plenty of places to garden in your yard. New York doesn’t have that…At least not unless you pay for a little space in Central park.” Stella said as she stopped to look at him. “Your garden is breathtaking.”

“Thank you.” Axl smiled,

The two worked in a comfortable silence for a while, the silence only being broken when Axl needed Stella to work on different tasks. With everything nearly finished, Axl gave Stella the task of watering one last section of the garden while he bagged the weeds and disposed of them.

“Hey Axl.” Stella grinned mischievously, pausing only long enough for Axl to turn around before she shot him with the hose causing Axl to yelp in surprise.

“Asshole!” Axl laughed as he advanced towards her to fight for the house, turning it on her and laughing as she yelped at the cold water hitting her face. The two fought for the house until Stella slipped, causing Axl to lose his footing and land in the mud right next to her; the pair a giggling mess.

“You pushed me, so I’d slip!” Stella accused as she laughed and threw a bit of mud at Axl.

“You’re such a liar.” Axl laughed and squished some mud right in her hair.

This playful exchange of mud soon turned into a full-on mud war, chunks of mud flying across the backyard as they separated to take shelter. This mud war lasted until they were both covered in mud and laughing so hard they couldn’t carry on.

“I won.” Stella stated matter-of-factly as she advanced towards him, only to be hit with one last bit of mud.

“I beg to differ. You went from red head to brunette, so I win.” Axl said as he reached out to take a strand of her hair and hold it in front of her face. “You look better as a red head.” He teased.

“Yeah? Well so do you.” She said as she squished mud in his hair.

“Oh please, I look good no matter what.” He stated in a fake cocky fashion as he gently elbowed her. 

“You’re right.” Stella said, grinning a bit as she dropped the last bit of mud in her hands. It was the boldest compliment she’d given to the older male, but she felt comfortable enough around him to speak her mind.

“Alright, fan girl. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He threw his arm around her shoulder and led her inside.

“My god! What happened to the two of you?” Beta couldn’t help but laugh as they entered the house.

“Axl started it.” Stella grinned as she nudged Axl away from her, causing Axl to gasp in mock horror.

“No way! You started it with your hose attack.” Axl stated, chuckling when Stella stuck her tongue out him as she headed towards the stairs.

“You sound like children.” Beta laughed softly as she turned back to her work on the computer.  
Once Stella was out of the shower and dressed, she heard the same beautiful and cheerful song she had heard that morning. She quietly moved from her room, down the hall, and into Axl’s room. She stood in the doorway listening as Axl played, his eyes closed as he allowed the music to flow from him. It was nice seeing Axl look so relaxed. It had been even nicer seeing him happy for a change. 

The next few days passed rather quickly, Axl and Stella spending a lot of time together. Axl had come to learn of Stella’s love for writing and had agreed to read some of her poetry and in return, Stella got a sneak peek at a few of the songs Axl was working on. Much to Beta’s disapproval, the two were becoming inseparable but after a couple of rather heated arguments with Axl, she found it was best to let fate take its course and to allow whatever might happen to happen and had agreed to help Axl in making reservations at a private restaurant for Stella’s birthday that he’d spend days planning. It was clear to Beta that Axl cared for the girl and wanted to make her birthday perfect, she just hoped the press wouldn’t turn it into something horrible.

Little did they know that the press was the least of the horrors that awaited them the night of Stella’s birthday dinner.


	3. As The World Falls Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stella's birthday turns into a thing of nightmares. Warning: Violence, Gun Violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please Review!

On the days leading up to her eighteenth birthday, Stella spent her time with Axl. Their bond had grown much stronger and Stella found that this bond had helped her cope with what had happened to her and led her to him. The two had grown inseparable, spending most of their time in the gardens or the library. Stella had come to learn a lot about the man who had opened his home up to her and had even seen a more sensitive side of him. 

“Stella…” The sound of Axl’s voice woke her, a sound she quite honestly didn’t mind waking to. His voice velvet and soft as a weight came to sit next to her on the bed and the smell of breakfast filled her senses.

“Happy Birthday!” Beta and Axl cheered in unison as Stella opened her green eyes and found Axl’s. 

“Thank you.” Stella smiled as she gave Axl a brief hug before sitting back and taking the breakfast. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You better eat up because I’ve planned a big day for you….I mean you only turn eighteen once.” Axl smiled almost sheepishly.

“And when he says big he means it.” Beta confirmed as she watched Stella’s grin form. “I had to help him plan it.” 

“You guys didn’t have to go through all of this trouble.” She shook her head as she bit into her toast.

“We wanted to.” Axl stated, answering for both.

“I’ll leave you two so Axl can tell you exactly what it is he has planned.” Beta grinned before turning on her heel and heading out to make some final arrangements regarding Stella’s birthday.

“I hope you have that song ready for me.” She laughed softly causing Axl to roll his eyes.

Once Stella had finished her breakfast, Axl headed out with the tray to clean up after breakfast and Stella moved to her closet to decide what to wear for the day. After choosing a simple, low cut, black lace dress, Stella moved into the bathroom to prepare for the day. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from grinning; she couldn’t believe that Axl had put so much effort into planning an entire day for her birthday, it was more trouble than she could have ever asked him to go through and more trouble than anyone ever had gone through.

“Axl?” Stella called as she headed down the staircase and into the main foyer.

“Mr. Rose is in the library, he wanted you to meet him there.” The housekeeper stated with a sweet smile, earning a nod and a soft thank you from the red headed girl.

Stella headed into the library, pausing when she saw Axl. He stood between several piles of gifts, but that wasn’t what made her pause. It was him, it was always him and she didn’t quite understand it. She knew she could never have him, she knew that he didn’t need the bad press, and she knew that his hospitality and sweetness was only his true nature and nothing more. 

“I wanted you to open your presents.” He said with a soft grin.

“You didn’t have to buy me anything.” Stella said as she moved to sit in a nearby chair. How could she have not noticed all of these presents being brought into the house? 

“I wanted to. Here, open this one first.” He said as he bent down, picking up a box wrapped perfectly in black wrapping paper with a gold bow.

“Okay.” She nodded and took the box from him, opening it carefully. The box contained a series of envelopes containing letters from her family that were neatly placed on top of a new dress. 

She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes at the sight of her mother’s handwriting on the first envelope in the stack. Her time spent with Axl had dulled the ache of being away from her family but the second she saw the envelopes; her heart began to ache dully. 

“I got a hold of your family, asked them to send letters to Beta’s home for you. I couldn’t get one from your father, but your siblings and your mother wrote you a letter.” He said as he placed a hand on her arm. 

“You’re amazing.” Stella shook her head and looked at him with tear filled eyes before moving to hug him. Soft sobs shook her small frame as she felt his strong arms wrap around her and his chin rest atop her head. 

“I just wanted you to have an update on your family…One directly from them.” He said as he rubbed her back, allowing her to move back to her seat so that she could see the dress they had sent to her.

“I’m guessing Camille, my sister, picked this out.” She laughed shakily as she wiped at her cheeks and held the dress up to examine. It was a green dress with a simple but elegant design, her sister was always trying to get her to wear lighter colors.

“She picked well. You can wear that to dinner tonight if you’d life.” He said and handed her another box.

Stella opened her gifts from the various employees she’d befriended and finally got to the final gift from Axl. Inside the box was a simple silver necklace with a rose charm.

“It’s beautiful.” She said as she looked up at the man with a grin, hugging him once more. “I’ll wear it at dinner.” 

The rest of the day was spent doing random activities that Axl had planned for her. Stella finding herself more and more drawn to him than she had in past days, his hard work putting into each activity melted her heart. Their day was interrupted by a loud bang, followed by a scream, and an employee running out of the sliding glass door and into the garden where Axl and Stella were.

“Mr. Rose, you and Stella have to hide.” He said, body trembling from the fear.

Axl didn’t hesitate a moment before grabbing Stella’s hand and pulling her along behind him towards the guest house and away from the danger. Once in the guest house, Axl pulled her into a large closet before closing the door, leading her to the corner and crouching down.

“Axl, I’m sorry.” She whispered, her hands shaking as they rested on his arm. 

“This is not your fault.” Axl said quietly, looking at her and taking her hands in his. “It’s going to be okay, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He said and moved a hand to her cheek.

Once Stella had settled against him, she closed her eyes and tried to block out the sounds of the screams of the employees and the sounds of gunshots. The only thing keeping her from breaking right there were the strong arms around her, holding her against Axl’s chest. It wasn’t long before the employees that had hidden in the living area of the guest house had been shot and the shooter was in the closet. Stella and Axl froze as the shooter did a quick sweep around the closet before moving on, the front door closing, and shots were soon being fired outside and growing distant.

“Stella, I need you to run and get help. Get away from here first. I need you to run through the trees behind here, take the window in the bathroom to get out, and go down the driveway. Get to the house across the street and don’t stop until you get there. I need to try and stop him, try and get security on the line in the house.” Axl said quietly as he looked down at her.

“Axl, I’m not leaving you.” Stella protested, her eyes filling with tears, her head shaking.

“Stella, I need you to do this for me. It’s going to be okay.” He said as he cupped her cheeks. “I can’t go out there knowing you’re trapped in here.” 

Stella’s green eyes met his, her shaking hands moving to touch his. She knew this could very well be the last time she got to see those piercing emerald eyes, the last time she got to hear his voice, the last time they ever spoke to one another.   
“Please, Stella.” He said softly as she rested her forehead against his, before finally getting a nod from Stella.

Stella moved quickly to the bathroom as Axl headed towards the main house. Stella ran as quickly as she could through the trees and down the driveway, running past the dead security men at the gatehouse, and across the street. She began her ascent up the hill towards the large house, once she finally reached the house she began to pound on the door and ring the doorbell.

“Help! You must help me! I need the police!” She cried frantically, tears running down her cheeks as the neighbors, an older couple, opened the door and allowed Stella inside.

With the police now called, all Stella could do was sit and worry about Axl and all the friends she’d made in her time living with him. Luckily, it wasn’t long before she saw the police and other emergency vehicles arrive at the scene and storm the property while media trucks waited outside to document the tragedy unfolding. Stella saw the police escort a man to a police car after an hour or so of searching, by now Stella was outside at the gate of the neighbor’s house. With the man being taken away and media packing up to follow in hopes of getting a comment as to why he committed such an atrocious act, Stella headed for the gate where Beta was waiting.

“Oh, thank God you’re alive!” Beta said as she saw Stella running towards the gate, the older woman moving forward to hug the shaking girl. “I haven’t gotten any word on Axl.” 

That phrase was enough to send a knife right through Stella’s heart, her eyes filling with tears. “I have to find him.” Was all she said before heading up the driveway and past the gurneys being rolling past her that carried the deceased victims. She remembered he’d started towards the main house, that’s where he would be. 

Her pace picked up, running through the front door and trying to shift through the crowd of police interviewing various surviving employees, her green eyes frantically searching for red hair. Not finding him in the lower portion of the house she started up the stairs to search, going room to room.

“Stella!” Axl said as she opened the door of the library, rushing towards her and wrapping his arms around her.

“I thought you were dead!” She cried softly, her arms wrapping around him and face burying in the man’s shoulder. “Beta said they hadn’t given report of you.” 

She was safe in his arms, he was alive, he was safe, it was over, and that’s all that mattered. She closed her eyes as she listened to his breathing, felt his arms tightening around her. They stayed like that for several minutes, just listening to the other breathe, and assuring themselves that the other was there and was alive. After what seemed like minutes but could have easily been an hour, Stella looked up at the man and allowed her hand to cup his cheek. 

“Don’t you ever ask me to leave you behind again, do you understand?” Stella said, her eyes staring into his. “I need you to promise me you won’t.”

“I was only protecting you.” He said as he rested his hand over hers, head tilting to the touch. “I told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you and I meant it.”

“I don’t care. I could have lost you.” She said, her voice unwavering and serious. “I can’t lose you, don’t you understand that? You’re all I have left.”

Axl wasn’t used to being depended on, wasn’t used to having someone who needed him, and certainly wasn’t used to being cared for so deeply. He looked at her, saw the tears in her eyes, felt her forehead touch his when she leaned in, and felt her breath ghosting over his skin before deciding he didn’t care what the press said, what his employees thought, what Beta thought; he cared for her. He cared for her so deeply and so strongly it scared him to his core. He had never felt this before, this certainty. He’d been in love before, thought he’d found his other half in Erin and then in Stephanie; but never once had he felt this/. And /this was not something he could ignore anymore. So, for the first time in a long time, Axl took a chance. He leaned in and closed the space between the two of them, pulling her closer, and pressing his lips to hers. The kiss wasn’t lustful or heated, it was a simple kiss. A first kiss that was everything it should have been; slow, timid, but deliberate. Soon, Stella’s hands moved to rest on Axl’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart, as Axl’s arms tightened around her. The kiss lasted for several moments until Axl decided to break it, his eyes opening as Stella’s did.

“I was beginning to wonder when you would do that.” She said softly, laughing quietly as her arms moved around his shoulders which in turn caused him to chuckle softly.

“It’s not like I planned to kiss you.” He said softly, his thumb running along the small of her back. “We better get downstairs to answer questions.” He said quietly, earning a nod from Stella and one final kiss. 

The pair moved down to the living room, answering questions for the police, and giving their account of the horrors that had taken place that day. With the police finally gone, Beta was allowed back into the home where she wasted no time in hugging the pair that sat together on the couch. Beta didn’t stay long, citing her family as the reason for leaving, leaving Axl and Stella alone together.

“I’m sorry your birthday didn’t go as planned.” Axl said as Stella leaned against him and closed her eyes. 

“You had no way of knowing what would happen, I’m just glad you’re okay.” Stella said as her fingers laced with his.

“Let’s get out of here, okay? I don’t think I can stand being in this house right now.” Axl said as he stood, offering his hand to hers.

Stella nodded and took his hand, walking with him to the garage and climbing in Axl’s Porsche. The two set of on a journey out of the city and towards the country side, desperate for an escape. After a few hours in the car, the pair pulled up to a beautiful countryside home lined by trees much like his main home.

“Welcome to my home away from home.” He said as he parked the car in the garage and cut the engine. The pair quietly made their way into the home, both exhausted from the events of the day and ready for it to end. 

“You can pick any bedroom you like.” Axl said as he handed her a pair of his pajamas to sleep in until they could send for her clothes in the morning and begin figuring out how the shooter had found out Stella was at the home. 

“I don’t want to be alone.” Stella said softly as she took the pajamas.

“Okay.” He nodded as she walked towards the bathroom to change. “You can stay with me.” 

Once they were ready for bed, Axl moved to check the locks one final time while Stella climbed into bed. When he returned to the bedroom, he smiled softly at her before climbing in next to her and sighing softly at the softness of the bed. Stella moved to wrap her arm around his torso, head resting on his chest. 

“Goodnight, Axl.” She said softly as he kissed her head.

“Goodnight, Stella. Happy birthday.” He responded, a hand running lazily along her back.

While neither would get much sleep that night, they laid in the dark in silence and enjoyed each other’s company. The events of the day would take a long time to process and cope with, but they would do it together. Tomorrow would be another day and Axl would make sure that day was a better day for Stella. Tomorrow he would make sure they finished the day he had intended for Stella to have. His biggest gift to her would arrive in the afternoon when Beta came to find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know the kiss was quick butttt adrenaline was pumping and you can't deny they share an attraction so why the hell not lol. I hope you enjoyed!


	4. Picking Up The Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl opens up to Stella in a way he hadn't expected, how will Stella react? Read to find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note: Hope you're enjoying the story so far! This chapter gives you a look into what I imagine could have happened to Axl as a child, partially based on fact.

The morning following the attack was spent quietly, Stella hovering near Axl as they prepared breakfast. Neither of the pair dared to speak about what had happened, preferring to avoid the reality that several of their friends had been killed and they had witnessed bits of the horrible massacre. It wasn’t until after breakfast that a small conversation was struck, nothing too serious, just a light and easy conversation that allowed the two to listen to the sound of the other’s voice. It wasn’t until mid-afternoon that the two decided to address their relationship properly, Stella unable to ignore the looks given to her and Axl unable to resist kissing her again.

“What are we, Axl?” Stella was the one to break the silence, her hand moving to catch his when he got up to order them pizza from the local restaurant.

“What do you mean?” He asked, his brows furrowing as he turned to look at her.

“What are your feelings for me?” She questioned as she bit her lip gently. She needed an answer.

“I care very deeply for you.” He answered honestly as he took a seat across from her.

“But?” She could hear the hesitance in his voice and knew there was a concern he wasn’t voicing.

“But I’m worried that it will draw too much attention to us, that the media will get a hold of it, and there will be more of a target put on your back.” Axl said, his eyes never leaving hers. “I can’t allow you to be put in danger.” 

“Or your reputation tarnished?” She spoke coldly, her eyes narrowing at him as she let go of his hand. Beta had endlessly spoke about how much it meant to Axl to keep his name out of the media’s mouths. 

“That’s not it at all, Stella. I want to protect you.” He said as he took her hand back in his, kissing it gently. “I don’t want you getting hurt or killed.”

“You promise me that’s your true worry?” Stella said as she looked into his eyes.

“I promise. If it were up to me, I would take you out every day and show you off. I mean…Look at you.” He laughed softly as he pressed a kiss to her hand.

“Is that so? Well…Can’t you show me off just a little?” She questioned as she moved into his lap, her arms wrapping around his shoulders.

“Perhaps.” He grinned, leaning in to close the gap between them and kiss her for the first time since they’d been at his Malibu home nearly twenty-four hours ago. 

The kiss was soft yet passionate, full of emotion that had been pent up since the shooting. It was Stella who deepened the kiss, her hands moving into his silky red hair as she leaned against him. Axl, of course, allowed the kiss to deepen; he’d been so starved of such affections that he had forgotten the way it felt to kiss someone. But Stella wasn’t just someone, no. She was his and he was hers. Stella was smart, beautiful, strong willed, opinionated; she was someone who wasn’t shallow like his previous partners, she had depth to her that matched his own. 

Stella broke the kiss, her fingers running across his jawline as her forehead rested against his. Even as he’d grown older, he remained handsome to her. She thought back to when she would look on Tumblr for new pictures of him, read his most recent interviews, watch videos of him and imagine what it would be like to see him face to face. And here they were, Stella hadn’t ever pictured herself here in his arms, kissing him the way she was. He was far more handsome in person than pictures made him out to be, the media making fun of his weight despite his body still being in fairly good shape, his arms muscular.

“Promise me this is something real, Stella.” Axl said as he stole another kiss, his arms tightening around her waist.

“It is. My feelings for you are real.” She assured after returning his kiss, her fingers twirling his hair. He smiled softly, hands running along her hips as they sat there in complete bliss. She was his new beginning. 

“Let’s get some food, lover boy.” She hummed as she heard her stomach growl. She moved from his lap to grab the home phone and dial the number to the pizza restaurant. 

After their pizza, Stella decided they would spend the night in bed watching movies. They changed into their pajamas and moved into the bedroom where Axl pulled her close to him as they settled into bed.

“What movie would you like to watch?” Stella questioned as she looked to Axl, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Something newer…Maybe action?” He shrugged, honestly not caring what kind of movie they watched, if they were together he didn’t care.

After settling on a comedy, Wedding Crashers, before relaxing together. There relaxation and movie were interrupted by the doorbell ringing; Axl got up and moved to check the security camera before opening the door for Beta. 

“Hey, Beta.” Axl smiled and gave her a gentle hug after taking the box she had brought with her. He had been waiting on this to arrive for several days, hoping that the timing of its arrival would be perfect. It was his final birthday gift to Stella.

“Beta!” Stella grinned as she moved to hug the older woman. “What are you doing here?” 

“I came to bring something to Axl and check in on the two of you. How are you guys holding up?” She questioned as she moved out the front door to bring in some groceries for the two of them.

“We’re okay.” Stella said and blushed a dark red as Axl pulled him to her, holding her around the waist and handing her the box.

“Oh?” Beta rose a brow, looking between the two of them, and offering them a soft smile.

“I decided I didn’t give a fuck what anyone thought. It’s time I start living my life and allowing myself to open up to someone.” Axl said, smiling rather proudly at his accomplishment.

“I just hope you know what you two are getting yourselves into.” Beta said as she shook her head and sighed. “I’m happy for you two, I am. I just want to protect the two of you.”

“I know that, but Axl and I can handle whatever gets thrown at us. I mean it’s not like we’re going to broadcast it to the world.” She said as she fiddled a bit with the box.

“Well go on, open it.” Axl chuckled as they took a seat in the living area of the home, Beta putting away groceries.

Stella opened the box and her breath caught in her throat, it was a beautiful diamond tennis bracelet. While she’d had diamond bracelets before, they had been things her mother had bought for her. But this…This was a gift from someone who wanted nothing more than to make her happy, this gift wasn’t for her to wear to a socialite event or a charity ball; it was a simple gift to bring happiness.

“Axl. I-I…Why?” She questioned, still breathless from the beauty of the bracelet.

“I wanted to get you something nice.” Axl said as he helped her put it on.

“In other words, he wanted to spoil you.” Beta teased from the kitchen.

The rest of the evening went on uneventfully and Beta soon went home, claiming she wanted to leave the two “lovebirds” alone. Axl and Stella found themselves in bed, Axl’s head on Stella’s stomach as they laid in the dark talking.

“Do you miss them?” Axl questioned, closing his eyes as her fingers ran through her hair.

“Yes. Everyday a little more.” Stella answered honestly as she stared at the ceiling. “Do you miss your mother and siblings?”

“No.” Axl answered. “Why should I? They didn’t exactly make my life all that easy.”

“I know, but I figured you might miss them.” She said quietly, her tone tender.

“They only ever asked for money. When my mother got sick, my siblings would ask for money to help with her treatment. But once she had died, the calls stopped coming and that’s when I knew that all the times they had reached out to me, all they’d ever wanted was a handout.” Axl responded levelly.

“I’m sorry.” She said, deciding it was probably best not to ask too many questions as she didn’t want to upset him.

“My mother never tried to stop my step-father from beating me, never said a single fucking word in my defense. She’d take his side, agree that I deserved the abuse that was being given to me, that I was sinful and evil for every fucking thing I did.” He said before taking a deep breath.

“Axl, you don’t have to tell me all this if you don’t want to.” She tried to stop him before he got upset.

“I’d be practicing the piano and if I messed up, he’d hit me so hard I’d fall of the bench. He’d say I was a failure and I’d never amount to anything…I was just a fucking kid, Stel.” Axl’s voice was shaky and vulnerable now in a way Stella had never heard before.

“You didn’t deserve that. You proved him wrong, didn’t you?” Stella tried to keep Axl from slipping into his thoughts of the past, but it didn’t seem to work.

“He’d beat me so badly that I’d lose consciousness, and nobody would fucking help me. They’d just leave me there and hope I woke up. He’d force me to recite the Bible to him by calling out verses to me, lock me in the closet and make me read the Bible until he decided I could come out.” He was openly crying now, stuck in the past, still tormented by the memories after all the years that had passed. “He’d lock me out of the house in the winter and leave me out there for hours until I ‘repented’… Then once I found out he wasn’t my father, he’d call me a bastard and a faggot. I didn’t know what he meant by faggot until I learned of what my birth father had done to me when I was just a toddler. I can never escape them…The memories.”

“Axl, Axl…Shhh.” Stella said as she ran her hand through his hair, brows furrowed in concern. She’d never expected this from him, he’d avoided speaking of his past, and now here he was pouring his heart out to her.

Perhaps it was the tenderness of the moment or perhaps it was the events of the previous day causing him to become so raw. She tugged at him until he sat up, so she could properly hold the older man. She wrapped her arms around him, lips pressing softly to his cheeks, trying to kiss the tears away as she gently rocked them, trying to calm him. She wished so desperately that she could take his pain away, kiss the tears away, but she knew the best she could do was let him cry it out. She knew this was probably not usual for Axl and knew that pent up emotions were not healthy. So, there they sat for several minutes, Stella whispering sweet nothings and comforting words in his ear, occasionally pressing kisses to his face, and promising him he was an amazing man. Promising him that it was over, that nobody had the power to hurt him like that anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” He said softly as he moved to look at her, wiping his cheeks before getting up and heading for the patio just outside the bedroom. He needed air, needed to be able to regain his composure, and needed to cope with the way he’d just humiliated himself. He was worried he might have scared Stella away, he was too old to be crying like he had, too many years had passed, and it shouldn’t hurt him like it did. His worries were put at ease when he felt Stella’s arms snaking around his waist and a kiss was placed between his shoulder blades. 

“It’s okay to open up to me. I want to know you, every side of you.” Stella spoke softly and let go of him, taking his hand and tugging him towards inside. He followed with no protest and climbed back into bed, Stella pressing a kiss to his lips. It wasn’t long before Axl was asleep, exhausted and emotionally drained. Stella stayed up for a few moments longer, just watching him, kissing his hair, and holding him. He was even more beautiful to her now.

It was the beginning of getting to know the vulnerable side of Axl, a side nobody could see…Until Stella came along. Now it was time to begin to pick up the pieces, move on in life, and allow the past to be the past. 

Until the past found its way to the present….


	5. Nightmares of Years Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected and unwelcomed visitor arrives.

After having seen Axl in such a vulnerable state the previous night, Stella couldn’t help but wonder how anyone could be so awful to a child and torment them so terribly that they were scarred for life and plagued with nightmares. She decided that she hated Axl’s stepfather for what he had done and hated the rest of his family for using Axl and never intervening to help him in his times of need. She allowed Axl to sleep in that day, knowing he probably needed the rest to recover from such an emotionally draining night. She quietly moved out from under the snoring man’s arm that had been draped across her waist and moved into the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker and clean up around the house. She wanted to make sure Axl knew he could be open with her about his feelings and the things troubling him. So, as she cleaned she thought out her words carefully so that when the time came; she would be able to talk to him about the previous night if he wished to.  
It was around ten that Axl emerged from the bedroom, wearing his pajama pants and not bothering to cover his bare torso or smooth out his messy hair. Stella couldn’t help the smile that came across her face at the sight of the older man. He looked so natural and carefree like this, he was beautiful. She walked over to him with a gentle smile and ran her hands along his chest and up around his shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.  
“Good morning.” He said in his usual raspy morning voice, his arms wrapping around her waist.   
“Good morning to you, would you like some breakfast? I was just about to make some.” She stated as she let go of him and moved into the kitchen.  
“That would be nice, thank you.” Axl said quietly as he poured himself a cup of coffee before heading back towards the bedroom, leaving Stella took cook their breakfast.  
Axl’s quiet mood didn’t worry Stella at all, she knew he was probably still a touch embarrassed from the previous night. She decided that giving him space is probably what he preferred and took her time making breakfast. She just hoped she could somehow find a way to help Axl work through this newest episode he’d had. With breakfast finished, she moved to the bedroom and found Axl sitting at the table on the patio.  
“Are you okay?” She asked as she set his plate in front of him before sitting down with her own plate.  
“Yeah, just a little groggy still.” He said as they ate, managing a soft chuckle. She was relieved when she heard the chuckle, relieved that some form of normalcy was returning between them. The two ate breakfast, discussing whatever came to mind and worked together to clean up once breakfast was over.   
“You know, I really like this look. The messy hair and shirtless torso.” Stella grinned at him as they sat in the den drinking their coffee.  
“And why is that?” He questioned as he set his now empty coffee cup down.  
“You look more relaxed.” She explained as she set her mug down. “Stella…I want to thank you for last night. I don’t know what came over me, I haven’t cried like that in years.”  
“You don’t have to thank me for that. You opened up to me instead of shutting me out, that means so much.” Stella said as she leaned against him, kissing his cheek as he wrapped an arm around her.  
“Why would I have shut you out?” He asked as he ran his hand along her cheek.  
“Because you weren’t ready to acknowledge I’d heard anything, because we’re so new to this that you might not trust me in that sense, because you were worried I might hurt you one day. I want you to know that I would never hurt you.” Stella said as she cupped his cheek.  
“I’m in this all the way, Stella. I want to be open and real with you.” Axl explained, his green eyes locking with Stella’s for a moment before he rested his forehead against hers.  
“I am too, Axl.” Stella spoke softly before Axl closed the gap between the two of them, kissing her deeply and passionately just as he had done each time in the past.  
It wasn’t long before the kiss grew heavier and more intense, Axl pulling Stella’s small frame into his lap so that she straddled him, her fingers moving into her messy hair as she leaned forward against him. His hands ran down her back until they rested at the small of her back, Stella humming into the kiss at the touch. Just as things began to grow more heated, there was a knock at the door; causing Axl to groan and Stella to move from his lap to answer the door.  
It was an older man, too old to pose any threat to them.   
“Hi, can I help you?” Stella questioned as she answered the door for the elderly man.   
“Stella? Who is---” Axl froze as he walked to the door and saw the man.  
Suddenly it was like he was a child again, he could feel the panic rising in his chest and his heart pounding. The man looked at him the same he always had, with a glare.   
“Stephen.” Axl tried to put on a strong mask, his hand reaching out and taking Stella’s to keep him grounded.  
Stephen said nothing, brushing past Stella as he steped into the home and glanced around.  
“What are you doing here?” Axl spoke quietly, eyes not making contact with the elderly man.  
“Your mother left you something and since you wouldn’t come pick it up, I tracked your sorry ass down.” Stephen said, glaring at Axl.  
“Don’t speak to him that way.” Stella said sternly, her green eyes glaring at the old man. “He is a good man and you will speak to him with respect.”  
“And who are you? His daughter?” Stephen laughed at her and shook his head. “Must have gotten your mother’s looks, your father should have taught you manners.”   
“She’s not my daughter. She’s my girlfriend.” Axl said, inching back from Stephen and taking in a shaky breath.  
“Still living in sin? You are a worthless piece of shit. If you hadn’t given up on God, you could have been worth something, but instead you decided it would be time well spent living in sin. You don’t deserve what your mother left for you.” Stephen said as he threw it at Axl. “Ungrateful and just as horrible as I remember you.”  
As Stephen spoke, Stella could see Axl’s mind reverting to what it had been during his years of abuse at the hands of this awful man. Axl stood there, taking the verbal abuse that was thrown his way and cowering away from the elderly man.  
“Out! Get the fuck out right now, god damn it!” Stella had finally had enough, moving to stand between Axl and his stepfather. “Out or so help me God, I will kick your ass straight to Hell.” Stella said as she shoved the man, not giving a damn that he was old.  
“God sees everything you do! God will punish –” Stella cut the crazed man off, slamming the door shut in his face before turning to Axl who was seeming to be having trouble breathing properly.   
“Axl, look at me.” She reached out to cup his cheeks, frowning as he flinched away from her. She took a step forward and caught his cheeks in her hands as she pressed a gentle kiss to his nose. “You’re having a panic attack. I need you to sit down for me.” Stella said as she walked him over to the couch, her heart aching as her lover wheezed.  
“I need you to try to breathe like me. Can you do that for me?” She questioned as she sat on her knees in front of him. “Deep breath.” She said as she took a deep breath in, repeating this step several times before Axl finally calmed, tears in his eyes. “It’s over. He can’t hurt you anymore.” She promised. “You’re none of those awful things he said about you. You are a smart, kind, generous, and loving man. Do you understand?” She asked as she made him look at her, earning a nod from Axl.  
“Don’t leave me alone.” He begged softly, hand reaching out to catch hers as she went to make them tea.  
“Anything for you.” She said as she pressed a kiss to his lips onfe again.  
With the worst part of the day over, the pair remained fairly quiet working on how to deal with all that had taken place that day and Stella working to make sure nothing near them could upset Axl. A nightmare from the past was over and what laid ahead was something most girls only dream of.


	6. A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl receives some news.

The days spent at the countryside home were quiet and were mainly spent indoors. Whether they would admit it to one another or not, they were still shaken up from the events that had happened leading up to their trip to the beautiful home. It wasn’t long until Axl had decided he needed to get home and get back to work on his songs. Stella had been hesitant to agree at first but had ultimately agreed deciding it would help Axl in the long run and make him happy. They had now been home for just over a week and Axl was due to meet his managers and record company.  
“How do I look?” Axl questioned as he emerged from the bathroom and into the bedroom they had begun to share.  
“Stunning, as always.” Stella approved as she moved to fix his jacket and press a kiss to his cheek.  
“You are even more so.” He grinned as he pulled the girl in one of his shirts to him, a kiss being pressed to her forehead.  
“What is this meeting about?” Stella questioned, her curiosity getting the best of her.  
“I’m not sure, they called me and asked me to come in.” Axl shrugged as he let go of her and grabbed his keys.  
“I hope it’s good things.” Stella grinned as she gave him a kiss goodbye.  
Once Axl was gone, Stella moved into their bedroom and began to clean up. She decided housekeeping would be a good way to keep her mind from thoughts of what had happened in the house. Meanwhile, it wasn’t long before Axl arrived at his meeting and received some less than satisfactory news; he was to go on tour. Though he knew it was only a matter of time before a tour was decided considering he and most of his original band members were finally on good terms. He didn’t want to go though, didn’t want to leave Stella. But he couldn’t ask her to go with him and drop everything for a year, could he? That would be selfish. The drive home went by far faster than Axl found himself comfortable with, not wanting to have to tell Stella about the yearlong tour.   
“Stella?” His voice echoed through the house as he entered from the garage and into the kitchen.  
“How’d your meeting go?” Stella asked as she moved from the dining room where she’d been cleaning and to Axl.  
“Far worse than I’d hoped.” He said as he pulled her against him, his arms tightening around her waist.  
“What happened?” Stella frowned as she cupped his cheeks, making him look at her.  
“There’s a big change coming up.” He said, trying to decide how he would explain what was happening.  
“What’s happening, Axl.” Stella’s tone suddenly becoming serious, her green eyes piercing into his.  
“I’m going on tour.” He finally blurted, his chest aching as he watched the smile falling from Stella’s face.  
“For how long?” She could feel her throat beginning to tighten and a lump beginning to form there.  
“A year…Maybe longer.” Axl said as he watched her sad green eyes. He hated himself. He had to ask her to come with him, he didn’t think he could stand to be away from her.  
“Axl…” She was cut off by his lips against her.  
“Come with me.” He stated once the kiss was broken, his hands cupping her cheeks gently.  
“What?” Stella laughed a bit in shock.  
“Come with me. Stella, you’ve made me a better man and you’ve done more for me in the weeks we’ve known one another than anybody has ever done for me. I don’t want to have to be away from you, not for a single minute. Please come on tour with me.” He asked, his hands moving from her face and to snake around her waist.  
“Of course.” She nodded and kissed him, silently relieved that he’d asked her.  
“I honestly don’t think I could stand to be away from you.” He spoke honestly and so softly that it made her heart skip a beat.  
And so it was settled, the two of them would prepare to go on a yearlong journey.  
“I think you should probably meet Duff and Slash, they need to know about us. That way there is no sneaking around or tip toeing. It’ll avoid drama and they’ll be able to meet the woman who has made me a better man.” He said as he moved with her over to the couch.  
“I would love to.” She nodded once and pressed a kiss to his cheek, shifting in his lap so he could pull his phone from his jacket pocket.  
“How’s dinner tonight sound? We can have it anywhere you’d like.” He smiled and ran his fingers along her thigh.  
“I would love that…But can we eat here? I’d like to cook you and the guys something.” She asked as she ran a hand through his hair, Axl smiling as he texted the two bandmates.  
“What are we having?” He questioned curiously as he got a thumb up emoji from each person, tossing his phone aside he pulled her, so she straddled him.  
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” She teased and moved from his lap.  
“That’s hardly fair!” He laughed and pressed a kiss to her lips as he pulled her back for a moment before releasing her again.  
“It’s completely fair. Now go get changed.” She stuck her tongue out before moving into the kitchen to prepare her meal preparation.  
Stella worked on preparing the best meal she’d been taught how to make by her cooking classes; lasagna. Once it was in the oven, she began to chop lettuce to make a salad and soon was adding vegetables to it. Within the next couple of hours, Stella had managed to finish setting the table and preparing the meal. With the lasagna in the oven, Stella moved upstairs to prepare herself for company.  
“Stella! They’re here!” Axl called from downstairs. Stella smiled as she listened to Axl laughing along at whatever joke someone had made.  
Stella adjusted her black skirt and black low-cut blouse before heading downstairs to join Axl and his friends. As she came down the stairs, Duff and Slash stopped talking and stared at her in shock.   
“Axl!” Duff was the first to break the silence, his mouth formed into a wide grin. “You never told me you had a girlfriend.”   
“Yeah, well…It sort of happened pretty quickly.” He laughed softly as Stella came to stand with him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  
“I’m Slash.” Slash smiled as he held his hand out to her.  
“I’m Stella. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She grinned and took his hand, shaking it. “I already knew who the two of you were.”  
“Yeah, I warned her about the two of you, stupid assholes.” Axl joked, earning a slight shove from Slash.  
“Shut the fuck up.” He chuckled and glanced between the couple. “Where did you two meet?”  
“Through Beta, she used to be my nanny. I came to visit her and ended up falling for Axl.” She explained as she led them to the table.  
And so there they were, Axl finally allowing people from his life to meet Stella. They were about to embark on a journey that would change all that sat at the dinner table, whether they wished to be changed or not.


	7. What You Mean to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paparazzi, band wives, hotel room! Oh my!

The weeks leading up to the beginning of Guns N’ Roses first world tour with the original line up in decades was spent packing and going to meetings. While Axl seemed to be completely in his element with all the chaos surrounding them, Stella often found herself struggling to keep up with everything that needed to be done. Much to her relief though, the weeks passed quickly and soon the kick off gig of the tour was nearing.

The morning started out just as any other might. Stella was the first to wake and made breakfast for her boyfriend. Breakfast, as usual, was spent quietly as Axl was still groggy from sleep. Stella made sure to give him plenty of coffee and an extra serving of eggs as she did every day, happy to have fallen into a routine of sorts.  
“Are you excited?” Stella was the one to break the silence as she sipped from her cup of tea and stared intently at the man across the table from her.

“I actually am.” Axl responded and set his mug of coffee down. “Thank you for breakfast.” He said as he stood to clear the table and pressed a gentle kiss to Stella’s head.

“You’re welcome. You go finish packing, I can handle the dishes.” Stella promised and took the plates from Axl.

As she did the dishes, Stella sighed softly as she thought of her family, wondering what they would say to her traveling the world alongside rock stars. Her brother would no doubt be excited, Camille would be turning her nose up in disgust, and her parents would more than likely be following her. She missed them, but she promised herself she would make the best of this tour and her year travelling the world with Axl. With the dishes done and all the luggage ready to go, Stella went upstairs in search of Axl. When she found him, he was sitting in the window, staring out at the view outside his window; he almost looked lost.

“I know that look…What’s wrong?” She questioned as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his head.

“What if I’m not as good as I used to be? Do you think I’m too old to be running around stage?” He asked quietly, his arms wrapping around her waist.

“Not at all. I think your energy is so amazing, you’re captivating on stage.” She said as she ran a hand through his hair. “You have to believe in yourself.”

“I’ve got you a place in front of the barriers, right next to the stage.” Axl said as he moved from her to zip his suit case. “Are you ready to go?” He questioned.

“Absolutely.” She grinned excitedly as she grabbed her purse. “We have a flight to catch.”   
“Yes, we do.” He smiled as he took her hand, the pair walking down the stairs.

After having the car loaded and the couple in the car, the driver headed for the airport and Axl made sure to warn her about the paparazzi and their ways, though Stella was without a doubt proficient in the ways of the press. When they arrived at the airport, Stella waited for the driver to open the door and Axl to help her out of the car before smiling at the paparazzi and giving a wave. Axl seemed slightly annoyed at all the attention until Stella laced their fingers and gave a gentle squeeze to his hand. The two weaved their way through the crowds, Stella putting on a happy face. Once they’d gotten to security and to the private lounge, Axl moved to the bar to grab a drink to ease his nerves.

“You’re shaking.” She pointed out, brows furrowing in concern. 

“You spend so much time out of the spotlight that when you get pushed back into it, it’s a lot to take in.” He explained, taking a sip of his drink and shrugging. “I’ll be fine.” He promised softly, earning a nod from Stella.

“You’re going to do great tonight.” She promised and took the drink from him. “You don’t need alcohol for that sort of courage.”

It wasn’t long before Duff and Slash arrived, grinning widely as they approached the two.

“Are you guys as fucking excited as we are?” Slash asked as they took seats on each side of the couple.

“Depends…Do you think you can make it through a show without having a bottle of piss thrown at you?” Axl shot back, a small and mischievous grin forming on his features.

“Hey, you never know! Maybe he’s gotten better at dodging those bottles of piss.” Stella chirped in.

“Only problem is, the old man might not be able to move quick enough.” Slash laughed as he ordered a water. 

“Assholes.” Duff rolled his eyes as he checked his phone, receiving a text from his wife.

The wait for the flight didn’t last long and soon the group was boarding for the flight to Missouri. Once settled on the airplane, Stella laid her head on Axl’s shoulder and sighed happily.

“I’m glad we’re doing this. It’ll be nice traveling together.” Stella said softly, smiling when he rested his hand on her thigh. 

“I agree, maybe we can go sightseeing when we get to the more exciting places. I haven’t done that in a long time.” Axl responded as he looked down at her.

“Promise me something though?” Stella said as she sat up to look at him, their green eyes locking with one another’s.

“Anything.” 

“You’ll have fun. Don’t make this all about work.” She stated, her hand reaching to cup his cheek. “I don’t want you to get stressed out.”

“I promise.” He leaned into the touch.

After a four-and-a-half-hour flight, it was to the hotel and then off to soundcheck. While Axl went to get ready for the soundcheck, Stella found herself running late after unpacking and soon found a seat with Duff’s wife, Susan, and Slash’s girlfriend, Meegan.

“So…How do you know Axl? Is he like an uncle…Or? ” Susan asked, shifting a bit in her seat, trying to break the awkward silence.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Stella responded, smiling a little shyly. 

“Wait…How old are you?” Meegan leaned forward in her seat as her eyebrows rose.

“I’m eighteen.” This response earned a shocked gasp from both women.

“How long have you two been together?” Susan questioned, a bit concerned now.

“Since my eighteenth birthday…We were just friends up until that point.” Stella responded, a defensive feeling rising in her.

“How did you meet?” Meegan pipped up again.

“My family got into some trouble, Beta had worked for my family in the past…So I went to live with Axl when things got too unsafe for me at home. He took me in, gave me the space I needed to sort through things. Eventually feelings began to develop and here we are.” Stella motioned to the arena.

“If you need help...” Meegan was cut off by Stella.

“I don’t need help! He hasn’t groomed me if that’s what you’re thinking. He hasn’t taken advantage of me. Axl has been the most humble and caring host I’ve ever had. He’s a good person and we care for one another.” Stella said, appalled that someone would even have the idea that anything so dark had ever happened between she and Axl.

“I didn’t mean to say he was a bad person. I just wanted to be sure.” Meegan said as she smiled a little. “I’m Meegan, Slash's girlfriend. This is Susan, Duff's wife.” 

“I’m Stella.” Stella managed a smile. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“After soundcheck, we’re all going to dinner…You and Axl should come.” Meegan suggested, earning a nod and a smile from Susan. 

After soundcheck, the group of women walked down towards the stage to figure out dinner plans. Stella smiled as Axl climbed off the stage and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“We were invited to go to dinner. Do you want to go?” Stella questioned, ignoring the eyes of Meegan and Susan observing their interaction. Picking it apart no doubt.

“I would like that.” He nodded as she laced their fingers.

“What time should we meet in the lobby?” Stella questioned, turning to Susan for direction.

“How about midnight? That gives the boys time to shower after the concert.” Susan stated, earning a nod from everyone.

“Sounds good. For now, lets head back to our rooms and rest up.” Slash said, throwing his arm around Meegan’s shoulder.

The group made their way back to the SUVs waiting out back and headed back for the hotel. Once they’d made it past the people waiting for them in the lobby and entered the room, Axl collapsed on the bed and Stella soon followed. After a brief nap and some last-minute preparations at the arena, Stella stood backstage as she watched Axl getting his earpiece put in and the rest of the band messing with their instruments or outfits. It wasn’t until Axl spotted her looking at him that Stella even realized she’d been staring.  
“You look stunning.” Axl smiled as he walked up to her, leaning down to kiss her as his arm went around her waist.

“As do you. You’re going to do so great out there.” Stella smiled as she broke the kiss at the sound of the preshow animation beginning.

“Thank you. I’ll see you after the show.” He grinned excitedly and pressed a kiss to her lips before hurrying for the stage.

“You two are cute together.” Susan commented as she walked up to a grinning Stella.

“Thank you. So, what do you do back here?” Stella asked as she watched Axl through a small crack in the curtains.

“Well, anything you want. If you want to go see the show, just show your badge to security and they will place you in front of the crowd barriers.” Susan said, sipping from her water bottle. “I normally go watch towards the middle when things settle down.”

“I think I’m going to go watch. I’ve never seen Axl on stage live before, only YouTube.” Stella said.

Once she’d settled in her spot, Stella looked up to watch Axl running from one end of the stage to the other with an energy she’d never seen from him before. As she watched, she noticed how happy and carefree he looked and that was nice. She had grown so accustomed to him looking stressed out in the last month or so that seeing him so carefree made her heart skip a beat. The rest of the concert went by smoothly, Axl looking directly at her as he sang the slower songs. After the concert was over, Stella waited eagerly backstage to see the red haired lead singer. She couldn’t wait to see him and tell him how wonderful he’d done and just be with him the rest of the night. 

Axl ran off the stage and down the ramp towards Stella with a wide and proud grin on his face and as he approached her, he pulled her into a tight hug. Stella let out a soft laugh as Axl hugged her tightly, her own arms going around his waist as she breathed in the smell of sweat, leather, and cologne. 

“You were phenomenal, Axl. Absolutely amazing.” Stella said as she looked up at him, moving some of his sweaty hair out of his face.

“I’m glad I lived up to your expectations.” Axl teased lightly before pressing his lips to hers, hands sliding to the small of her back as hers moved to drape across his shoulders. The kiss was full of adrenaline from Axl’s end which in turn made it all that more passionate and soon caused Stella to get lost in it. Once the kiss had grown rather heated, Axl broke it and smiled almost shyly.

“Let’s go get you a shower, stink ball.” She giggled and took his hand.

After they’d arrived at the hotel and entered their room, Stella found she couldn’t stop herself and pulled Axl in for another kiss. The kiss was just as passionate as it had been at the arena, her body pressed against his as she focused on nothing but him and the way his hands seemed to caress her body as though it were something fragile and sacred. That’s when Stella knew that the wait was over, she had to have Axl fully. She slipped his shirt off and backed him towards the bed.

Hours later, the pair lay in bed after a passionate night. Both were blissfully breathless, bodies pressed together under the sheets. Stella smiled softly as she closed her eyes and listened to the beat of his heart, finding the same soothing effect it had always had on her. The night had been perfect, exactly as Stella had hoped her first time would be, and now Stella belonged to Axl on a deeper sense, just as he belonged to her. They were intertwined; mind, body, and soul.

“I love you.” Were the first words out of Axl’s mouth once he’d found his voice and the courage to say such a powerful phrase. He spoke quietly and timidly as though he were afraid to say it any louder. Stella couldn’t blame him though, knowing every time he’d ever said that he’d ended up alone, but she wasn’t going anywhere.

“I love you too.” Stella looked up at him, her hand moving across his chest and tracing small circles. “You’re perfect.”

“No, I’m not.” He shook his head as his gaze remained on hers, his fingers running along her smooth cheek and down to her chin, so he could tilt her head up for another kiss.

“To me you are.”

“Well I guess that’s all that matters then.” Axl said as he ran his hand through her hair. “Can I ask what brought tonight on? What made you decide it was time?” 

“I don’t know. Something just told me that I was ready to give myself to you. In the moment leading up to it, all I felt was love. I can’t explain it.” Stella laughed quietly. “What made you decide you love me?” 

“I’ve loved you since the moment you waltzed into my life.” Axl said, causing Stella to laugh again. “I’m serious. I saw you and it was like nothing I’d ever felt before. You were different from the other women I’d met.”

Axl had never felt the feelings he did now before Stella came along. Most of his relationships had been either short lived or toxic. Life with Erin was horrible because of all the horrible issues he’d not worked through yet, the issues that had caused him to become violent towards her and Stephanie. He silently made a promise to himself that he would never lay a finger on Stella, he’d die before he did. 

The next morning, Axl woke to the sound of singing coming from Stella as she took a shower. He couldn’t help but smile softly as he laid there for a few moments and listen to her singing a song he didn’t know the words to. Eventually he decided it was time to shower and found himself in the shower with Stella, though the task of showering was forgotten for a quick moment of passion. The two couldn’t get enough of one another. But once the moment had passed, Stella finished up and moved out of the shower so Axl could properly bathe.

Little did they know what would await them in the coming weeks when the tour took a brief curve up into Canada. Lives would change, hearts would break, and Axl and Stella’s world would be changed forever whether they wanted it to or not.


	8. Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mistake that changes Stella and Axl's relationship.

The weeks following the opening show went by uneventfully. Things were as perfect as they could be. Stella and Axl were now closer than ever, each stop in the tour was sold out, the band was getting along well, and Axl finally seemed genuinely happy and relaxed.   
Unfortunately, as the tour took a show up to Canada, things began to fall apart. Things on tour had been going wrong, Axl was having trouble making it through shows and exhaustion was beginning to set in, but worst of all? Axl and Stella were beginning to fight. It had all started rather suddenly, Axl had had a bad night and Stella had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

The concert had started normally, the crowd had been sold out, Stella had kissed Axl before he went on stage. Things turned when someone had thrown something at the Axl and had acted like an asshole which in turn caused Axl to retaliate. Though unlike the old days, Axl had been forced to continue the concert. When he came off stage, Stella was there.

“Axl, are you okay?” She asked as he came of stage.

“Don’t talk to me right now.” Axl snapped as he brushed past her, Slash frowning as he shoved past him.

“Axl!” Stella frowned as she turned to watch him walk off.

“I’d leave him alone, if I were you.” Duff placed his hand on her shoulder as he walked past her. “Trust me on this one, I’ll see if I can’t talk some sense into him.” Stella nodded, sighed, and ran a hand through her hair, wondering what it was she could do to get Axl back in the good mood he had been in. 

“Duff! Wait, I’m his girlfriend. I should be able to handle this.” She said as she gave him a reassuring smile and moved to Axl’s dressing room once Duff headed the opposite way.  
“Axl. Open the door, please?” Stella said quietly as she knocked on the door. “I just want to know you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. Stella, please just go away. I want to be alone.” Axl said, his voice dripping with irritation. 

“I’m not going anywhere. You and I both know that.” He said as sighed quietly.

“Stella…” He couldn’t say no to her, he never could. So, he moved from his chair and opened the door. 

“It hit you.” She said quietly when she saw the bruise forming just under his eye, her hand moving to cup his cheek.

“Don’t touch me.” He said as he took a step back and turned away from her. “I told you to leave me alone for a minute. So now that you see I’m not dying or deformed, please leave.” He said, keeping his back towards her.

“I don’t understand what your problem is, Axl. I’m only trying to help and you’re treating me like I’m the one who fucking threw whatever the fuck that was at you.” Stella was beginning to lose her patience with his childish behavior.

“Maybe I want to be alone for just a fucking second! A fucking moment to myself, did you ever fucking think of that?” He turned to face her now, green eyes blazing. “Now get the fuck out of my dressing room.”

“No.” She was going to stand her ground. She wasn’t going to be like everyone else that never told him no. “You may be able to talk to everyone else this way and get what you want, but you’re not going to fucking talk to me like that.” 

“I will fucking get you hauled out of here.” Axl threatened, though deep down not meaning it.

“You do that, and you can consider me hauled out of your life too. You don’t get to treat me like this, Axl.” Stella glared at him, she wasn’t going to budge despite the argument escalating quickly.

“And where are you going to go?” Axl laughed cruelly and shook his head. “Back to your criminal father and your trophy wife mother? You haven’t heard from them in nearly a month, Stella.”

“I’d figure something out. I don’t have to take this from you.” She said as she crossed her arms.

“How? You’re a fucking rich bitch who has had everything she’s ever wanted handed to her. You don’t know a fucking thing about hard work, you don’t know a thing about the real world.” Axl responded, he wasn’t going to be the one to back down.

“And you’re a selfish prick who can’t stand for something not to go his way. You decide to throw a hissy fit about anything instead of fucking growing up and facing life head on. You might have worked hard to get where you are, but you did it to run away from your step-father and you’ve allowed him to control your entire fucking life. Instead of moving on, you’ve dwelled and become a bitter fucking asshole. No wonder everyone fucking leaves you, you---” She was cut off by Axl’s hand colliding with her face, a surprised gasp escaping from her lips.

When she turned her head back to where it had been, she saw Axl standing there looking completely horrified with himself. She shook her head and tugged the necklace he’d given her on her birthday from her neck and threw it at his feet.   
“Stella…” He tried to speak but he was cut off by her.

“Don’t fucking talk to me. Don’t ever fucking speak my name again. You might have been able to hit your other girlfriends and offer a feeble apology for everything to be okay. But not with me.” She said, her voice small and eyes full of tears. “And here I was, thinking you weren’t what everyone said you were.”

With that, she turned on her heels and left his dressing room, slamming the door behind her. Axl was left in the aftermath of what had happened, disgusted with himself. Stella brushed past Slash in the hall way and headed to find Susan. She needed someone to vent to and Susan had become one of her closest friends.

“Duff? Susan? Can I come in?” She questioned, trying to keep her voice even, as she knocked on the door of Duff’s dressing room.

“Stella.” Duff answered the door, brows furrowed when he saw the handprint on her cheek. “He fucking hit you? Fuck that.” He shook his head and headed after Axl.

“Honey, come here.” Susan frowned as she opened her arms for the now openly crying girl standing in her doorway.

“I want to go home.” Stella sobbed quietly as she hugged her friend, her body trembling more from the anxiety of what had happened rather than her sobs.

“I’ll call Beta.” Susan said as she let go of the girl and motioned for her to sit down. “Tell me what happened?”

“He wouldn’t let me in the dressing room….A-And then he did so I could see he was okay.” She wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “Then we got in this huge fight that came out of nowhere and he slapped me. So, I told him never to talk to me again.”  
The phone rang. It was Beta.

Meanwhile, Duff was just making it to Axl’s dressing room. He was furious and ready to beat the shit out of Axl until he walked in the dressing room and found Axl sitting in the center of a trashed dressing room with his head in his hands.

“You fucked up.” Duff said as he took a seat in the rubble next to his longtime friend.

“I fucking know that. I don’t even fucking know what happened, I just…” He shook his head and closed his eyes. “I promised I’d never hurt her, especially not like that.”

“Then why did you do it?” Duff asked.

“It just happened so quickly. I got so angry and the next thing I knew my hand was stinging from slapping her. I slapped her so fucking hard.” Axl had tears in his eyes now as he clenched his jaw in an attempt not to cry. “I hated myself the second I realized what had happened. Is she okay?” 

“Her face is probably going to swell and bruise, it was already starting to when she showed up to talk to Susan.” Duff didn’t know how to provide comfort to his friend while also defending Stella.

“Fuck.” He said softly as a few tears cascaded down his face. “I don’t know what to do. I tried to apologize, and she told me never to talk to her again.”

“You need to work on yourself, man. If you really care for her, you need to make sure this shit never happens again.” Duff put his arm around his friend to comfort him. “You have to remember she’s only eighteen, she’s going to say shit she doesn’t mean but you’re fucking fifty-five and should know better.”

“Can you help me? I have to talk to her, I can’t let it end…At least not like this.” He shook his head as he looked at her. 

“I’ll talk to Susan and see where Stella stands on this all. Come on.” Duff said as he stood and helped Axl up.

The pair headed to Duff’s dressing room where they found Susan but not Stella. Axl’s heart dropped when he heard the news.   
Stella was going to stay with her brother…In Germany.  
❮


	9. Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl and Stella cope with their time away from one another, Stella makes a major announcement, Beta is a mom who just wants her son happy.

She had refused to talk to her brother about the large bruise on her face when she’d arrived at his home in Germany. She didn’t want to even think about the awful fight she and Axl had had that had ended it all. She wanted to be with her family and move on from the heartbreak she’d endured. The first month or so away from Axl was full of sleepless nights and tears. The pain of being away from Axl was almost unbearable, she missed him more than she ever thought possible. She’d spent so long with him, had seen every side of him, given herself to him completely. So, she did what she often did when things got too much to handle. She threw herself into her writing and learning how to turn her poetry into music. She found the music was therapeutic and a good way to release her emotions. 

Axl had been a wreck since he’d lost Stella. He’d started drink heavily again, going on to stage late, chain smoking to calm his nerves, and writing music only to throw it all away. He refused to get help, refused to even talk to Beta about what had happened, and refused to even speak her name. He eventually refused to go on stage during the tour resulting in several dates being cancelled. Beta had started to worry for Axl’s health as he was up at all hours playing his piano or drinking. He’d demanded to be left alone and had slipped back into being a recluse just as he had after Stephanie had left him. Much to Beta’s dismay, Axl had shut himself away in his mansion overlooking the sea and refused to come out. She had to do something. She had to find Stella and make this all work out, no matter what had happened she couldn’t stand to see the man she considered her son to be in such a state.

Beta had gotten in touch with Thomas again and had gotten his address. He had informed Beta of Stella’s declining health as she refused to sleep and was constantly sick, he was more worried about the safety of his sister than anything.  
“Stella?” Beta had said once she’d arrived at Thomas’s home in Germany, knocking gently on the girl’s door. 

“Beta?” Stella had almost run to the door to hug the woman. She couldn’t stop the tears that had formed in her eyes and moved down her cheeks as she clung to the woman who had done so much for her.

“Look at you.” She shook her head as she pulled back to look at the girl, she’d grown pale and had dark circles under her eyes. She was a shell of what she once was.

“Why are you here? He’s not, here is he?” She took another step back from Beta before letting out a sigh of relief when the older woman shook her head.

“I came alone. I need to know what happened. Axl is devastated. He won’t eat, won’t sleep, he drinks heavily, I hear him crying. I’ve never seen him like this.” Beta explain as they moved to sit together on the edge of Stella’s bed.

“He did it to himself.” Stella said flatly as she hugged her knees to her chest. “He hit me.”

“And instead of talking to one another, you ran away to Germany and he locked himself in his home.” Beta shook her head and rested her hand on Stella’s shoulder. “Sweetie…What has happened to you? You’re different.”

“Teen pregnancy and crippling depression will do that to a girl.” Stella was wiping at more tears now. She hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. She was nearly twelve weeks along and had managed to the baby bump forming from her brother. “I found out a couple of weeks ago.”

“You have to tell Axl.” Beta stated firmly. “He at least deserves to know.” 

“You can tell him. But don’t you dare tell him where I am.” She said softly as her hand   
went to rest over her stomach, her legs dropping to the floor. “I don’t want to see him.”

“He deserves to hear the news from the mother of his child. You two have to talk face to face, be adults about this.” Beta tried to reason.

“No. I’m not…I can’t stand to even think of him, Beta. Seeing him will only break my heart. I miss him more than anything, but he has to know what he did was wrong, and I won’t be treated like that.” Stella sniffled softly and exhaled shakily.

“Axl has never been this destroyed before, I think he’s learned his lesson.” Beta said as she stood and walked towards the door to leave.

“Wait…” Stella called right as the older woman reached the door. “Can you tell him that I still love him? That I just need some time to heal and figure things out?”

Beta stared at the girl, saw the tears in her eyes and could almost feel the heartbreak just from the look on her face. Finally, she nodded and gave a gentle smile to the girl. “I can do that.”

Beta’s stay only lasted a couple of days before she headed back to make sure Axl was still doing okay. When she walked into the trashed mansion, her heart ached for the man all over again. Axl had been shocked at the news of Beta visiting Stella and had demanded to know where she was, only to be refused an answer. In Germany, Stella had begun to take better care of herself, knowing she had to stay healthy for the baby. Despite her fears and uncertainty, she decided she wanted to keep the baby. She didn’t think she could stand giving it up.

Once the doctor had given her the okay to travel despite her being nearly four months pregnant, Stella said goodbye to her brother and headed back to LA to talk things out with Axl. She couldn’t raise the baby on her own and couldn’t stand being away from the man any longer. 

That was how she came to be standing in front of Axl’s home, debating on whether she should ring the doorbell. Eventually gaining the courage, Stella rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves when Beta answered the door to allow her into the home.

“Where is he?” Stella asked softly as she glanced around the trashed mansion, taking note of the shattered mirrors probably from a very emotionally unstable Axl.

“Where he always is, the piano in his room.” Beta said and smiled gently. “Go to him.”

Stella didn’t have to be told twice and was heading up the stairs as quickly as her feet would carry her, she had to see the man. Had to know that he was okay, that he was healthy. She burst into his room only to find an empty room. She exited his room and started for the stairs when a voice made her stop in her tracks.

“Stella?” The voice was shaky and quiet, but undeniably belonging to Axl. “I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean to hit you, please stay? Don’t go.” He was almost panicked when she went to take a step down the stairs to get away from him. She didn’t want to run, but she didn’t want to hurt again. But the panic and the sorrow in Axl’s voice combined with the soft plea stopped her and forced her to turn and look at him.

“It’s okay.” She said softly as she advanced towards him, her arms going around him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

As soon as their torsos touched, Axl took a step back and looked down to the baby bump that had grown considerably. “You…You’re pregnant?”

“Four months along. I found out two months ago, that’s part of why I’m here. You deserved to know.” Stella shifted under the weight of his wide-eyed gaze. 

“D-Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” He placed his hand over her stomach, eyes full of tears now.

“A boy.” Stella managed a small laugh through her tears, hand over Axl’s now. “I almost lost him early on, I wasn’t taking care of myself…But I heard you haven’t been taking care of yourself either.” Her free hand moved to his cheek, her heart skipping a beat as he tilted his head into the touch.

Axl couldn’t stop himself now, he pulled her to him and just held her. He held her like she was the only thing keeping him weighted to the ground, like it was the last time he might hug her. Stella buried her face in his chest and breathed in his scent, it was the same it had always been. 

“I love you. I love you so much. I’m never going to hurt you again.” Axl said as his grip tightened on her, his lips pressing to her head. “I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for what I said to you and hitting you. I didn’t mean it and you must believe me. I hated myself the second I realized what I had done.” He looked into her eyes now, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Stella.”

“I love you too. It’s okay now, we can move on from this.” Stella assured him as she rested her hands on his chest. “We have each other, we have a baby on the way, and that’s all that matters.” 

They moved into the bedroom and laid on the bed so Stella could rest after her long flight and ride back home. It was clear she was exhausted and Axl wanted nothing more than to just be close to her.

“Do you want to see a picture of him?” Stella asked as she pulled out her phone and looked at him. She smiled when she received a nod and pulled up the 3D sonogram she’d saved to her phone. “He’s got your nose.” 

“And your mouth.” Axl smiled as he stared at the picture. “He’s beautiful. I’ve always wanted a family, Stella.”

“Well you’re about to have one.” She smiled and leaned up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Let’s get some sleep, Beta tells me you haven’t been sleeping.” She pulled him to lay closer to her and set her phone aside.

“I couldn’t sleep. I threw myself into writing music, but on the bright side I think I finally finished the song.” Axl smiled tiredly as he ran his thumb across her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Axl.”

And so, all was well. The pair were back together again and were able to begin picking up the pieces and rebuilding their life. Things were just beginning to fall in place.


	10. House of Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl decides to tell the world.

The next few days were spent catching up on all that had happened in the months the pair was apart. Axl had spent hours with his ear on her growing stomach, listening for any type of movement. Stella was nervous and Axl knew that, so he spent all the time he could reassuring her that all would be okay. Hiding away was growing increasingly hard as the rescheduled tour was approaching and Stella wasn’t going to be getting any smaller any time soon. Axl was now faced with a decision, deny it all or show the world how wonderful their relationship was and face the storm that would certainly come crashing in on them.  
“I want to tell everyone.” Axl said one morning, breaking the comfortable silence, they’d been sitting in out in the garden and over looking the sea.   
“Tell everyone? About us?” Stella’s eyes widened in surprise as she turned to look at him. “About the baby?”   
For a moment, Stella wondered if Axl had lost his mind. Telling the world about the two of them and about the baby would all fall back on Axl. People would talk and judge him, they’d spread awful lies about him. She knew the impact it could have on Axl’s career as well as how it could hurt Axl personally. She couldn’t let him do that, especially when she wasn’t even going to be able to go on tour with him.  
“Yes, about us and the baby. Its not right to hide like this, Stella. I don’t want to have to hide you away from the world. You shouldn’t have to live holed up in this house like I did for so many years.” Axl responded, determination set in his expression. “I love you, Stella. I want the entire world to know that.”  
“Axl, no. I can’t let you do that to yourself, you know what people on the forum will say, what the news will say. They’ll twist it into something awful and I can’t let that happen to you because you’ve been through enough.” Stella shook her head and slowly moved to stand, her hand moving to her stomach.  
“Stella, I don’t care what they say though! Not anymore.” He tried to reason with her, only to have her shake her head in response.  
“No. I don’t feel comfortable going public like that.” Stella finally said, hoping he wouldn’t take that the wrong way.  
“Are you ashamed of me? Embarrassed by our age difference?” It was now that she saw the vulnerable side of Axl beginning to emerge and she knew she had to make things right.  
“Axl, of course not. I love you and I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have you. I just want to protect you.” She reached out to gently touch his cheek. “I’m very proud of you, Axl Rose.”  
“Then why do you want to hide this? I’ve spent so long hidden away, I’m tired of hiding.” Axl leaned into her touch.  
“I want to protect you and I want to protect our son. Please see where I am coming from.” She pleaded as she moved to sit in his lap, kissing his forehead gently. “I don’t want our son growing up always in the spotlight, I want him to have some sort of a normal childhood. I agree that something must be stated publicly about our relationship, just not the pregnancy, just to let all those skanky bitches know just who you belong to.”   
Axl laughed as he looked down at her stomach and nodded once as he placed a hand over it. This was what mattered, this was all he needed. He’d be happy with the compromise if it meant he at least got to show the world that he was in love with Stella.  
“Then it’s settled. I’ll tell the publicity team to take the interview with Fallon.” He pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, hand running along her stomach.  
“And I’ll get Beta to help me in finding an outfit to hide this baby bump.” She grinned and moved from his lap. “Speaking of interviews, you have one in a couple of hours. You should probably get ready for that.”   
It wasn’t long before Axl was off for his interview and Stella was left alone in the large home. They were still picking up the pieces of the home that Axl had destroyed and it was in these moments when she was alone, that Stella saw how much Axl had been hurting. As she carefully picked up things around the house, Stella couldn’t help but notice bits of blood on the marble floor. They were more than likely from where Axl had cut himself from the shattering glass. It made her heart ache for the older male, made her wish the fight had never happened. She regretted the words she’d said to him, regretted bringing his step-father and his past into it.  
“Don’t dwell, sweetheart.” Beta said as she entered the home and found Stella staring at the shattered mirror on the wall.  
“I hurt him, Beta. He’s still hurting. I can see it sometimes when he looks at me. He’s not forgiven himself and deep down he knows he hasn’t forgiven me.” Stella bit her lip and turned to the older woman. “Help me?”  
“The only advice I have is to give it time. He doesn’t heal quickly like the rest of us. He dwells and oftentimes beats himself up more than anything. He’s not as strong as he’d like everyone to think.” Beta said as she put away the few groceries she’d brought into the home.  
“Has he said anything to you about it?” She questioned as she took a seat on a stool at the island.   
“No, he refuses to talk about it, he prefers to keep the things that hurt him bottled up as much as he can. That’s just his nature.” Beta explained. “Just show him you forgive him each and every day, love him. That’s all he really needs…Love.”   
“Did he tell you he’s decided he wants to tell the world about our relationship?” She asked as she played with one of the flowers she’d picked from the garden. “He wants the publicity team to take the Fallon interview.”  
“And how do you feel about all of this?” She rose a brow as she sensed the nervous tremor of Stella’s voice.  
“Terrified. I don’t want Axl to get hurt by the awful things I just know the media will twist the story into. I know that with me being only eighteen, they’ll make him seem like some type of pervert when it was completely consensual.” Stella shook her head at the thought of the awful things that could be said.  
“Once Axl makes up his mind, it’s hard to change it. But you must remember that it doesn’t matter what the media says or what lies they spread. All that matters is what you and Axl share, nobody can take that away from you.”   
“Thank you, Beta.” Stella smiled gently as her cellphone went off. It was a message from an unknown number.  
Pretty girls end up in coffins  
Stella frowned at the odd text and deleted it, tossing her phone aside. It had to have been some crazed fan of Axl’s that had gotten a hold of her number somehow. Surely, the men who were after her father wouldn’t be coming after her. She had no information to offer them about her father’s whereabouts nor any access to the family bank account.  
Stella continued about her day, trying to ignore the sinking feeling that seemed to stay in her chest as the text message haunted her thoughts. What if she was putting Axl in danger? What if someone was really coming for her? She knew the shooting couldn’t have been the only attempt on her life that was going to be made. She could feel the panic rising in her chest, but she closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths in order to calm herself, she didn’t need to be getting so worked up at this point in her pregnancy.   
“Stella?” Axl’s voice filled the home a couple of hours later once Stella had settled in their room at the piano, just allowing her fingers to move over the keys and play any random song that popped into her head. She was still rusty, but she found it had a calming effect on her.  
“In here!” Stella paused her playing for a moment before continuing on.   
“I didn’t know you played.” Axl smiled gently at her as he took a seat next to her on the piano bench. “But your hands should be positioned like this.” He placed his hands over hers to position them correctly.  
“Thank you, Mr. Piano Expert.” She laughed softly and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “How was the interview?”  
“Boring as fuck. I just wanted to tell them right then and there about you.” He grinned as he placed her arm around her waist. “How’s my girl and my son?” He asked.  
“Tired.” She grinned and glanced at the clock, it was nearly midnight.   
The two climbed into bed, bodies tangled together as Axl quietly promised to treat her kindly and love her. Told her he would love her even after death. Unfortunately, death was a card that could be played in the future.


	11. The Misfortune of the Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is changed for the worst. TRIGGER warning: Death of infant, violence. Read at own risk.

The next day Stella woke earlier than usual to the buzzing of her phone. She grabbed it to silence it before it woke Axl and was glad to see the man was still sleeping soundly. 

It was only 4:00am. Why would someone text her at this hour? She moved from the bed and headed towards the bathroom with her phone to see who it was that had disturbed her sleep.

Wakey, wakey. Someone’s watching

Stella frowned and deleted the message before moving back in the bedroom and closing the curtains before curling back up into bed next to Axl who woke just enough to put his arm around her and pull her closer to him. She sighed happily at the warmth and comfort his arms provided her and moved to press her face against his chest and drift back to sleep.

Only that she couldn’t sleep. She lay there for a couple of hours before the sun started to peak over the horizon. The ominous text message had caused scared her a good bit. Why would someone text her such a message? And how had someone gotten this number? Only Thomas, her parents, Axl, and Beta had the number. So how had anyone else gotten ahold of it? Stella moved out of bed and into the bathroom to relieve herself and wash her face. 

“Stella? Why are you up so early?” Axl yawned as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair.

“I couldn’t go back to sleep.” Stella shrugged as she moved to sit next to Axl in the bed, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “You should go back to bed, it’s far too early.” 

“Mmm, I’m up.” Axl chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to her lips, pulling her into his lap. “I love you.”

“And I love you. What’s on the agenda for today?” She questioned as she ran a hand through his messy red hair.

“I have several meetings to attend today and then I thought maybe we could go out on a drive? Just to get out of the house?” He suggested as he ran a hand along her back, green eyes focused on her.

“I’d love to. A drive along the coast would be nice, different from what we normally do.” Stella agreed and rested her head on his shoulder. “What time is your first meeting? It’s 6am now.”

“My first meeting is at 8.” He said and shifted so she could move from his lap and he could get up. “I should probably get a shower and get ready.”

Stella smiled and grabbed her phone as it buzzed, waiting for Axl to go into the bathroom to shower before reading what the text message said.

Keep an eye on your man today, you never know when there won’t be a tomorrow

Stella’s heart sank, and she deleted the message, moving into the bathroom to check on Axl before looking out the window for any sign of life outside. The premises were secure, how did someone know what she was wearing last night? How did they know Axl wasn’t in her sight? She needed to get to the bottom of this, and fast. 

“Are you okay?” Axl frowned as he emerged from the bathroom, his waist wrapped in a towel.

“I’m okay. Just a little morning sickness.” Stella lied as Axl dressed himself. She hated lying to him, he deserved to know what was going on. But she didn’t want him to be worrying about her, not on a day where he would already be stressed out enough. 

“Make sure to rest until it passes?” He bent down to press a kiss to her lips and then a kiss to her stomach. “I gotta go.”

“I love you, be safe getting to the meetings.” She smiled weakly and leaned down to kiss him. 

“I love you too.” He grinned before slipping on his shoes and heading out.  
The phone buzzed again.

Sweet moments won’t last forever

Stella frowned and looked at the number, only to find it was a restricted number. With each text message, Stella was growing more and more worried. How was someone able to see what was happening inside their home? How would she hide this from Axl to keep him from worrying? He was bound to see a text message eventually. 

Stella deleted the message and headed for the library to pick out a good book to read to pass time and get her mind off the text messages that were being sent to her. With a good book in hand, Stella headed downstairs to grab fruit for breakfast. As she went downstairs, her phone buzzed again but she chose to ignore the message. She wasn’t going to let the anonymous texter ruin her day or stress her. Just as she reached the kitchen, she felt someone grab her from behind and covered her mouth as she tried to scream and fight the person off before everything went black.

A few hours later, Axl was at his meeting and listening to his lawyer try to come to a settlement with one of the many venues that had tried to sue Axl and the band for not coming on stage. He was bored out of his mind and spent most of the first meeting staring out the window thinking of any random thing that crossed his mind. 

He was worried about Stella, normally she would have texted him by now. He hoped the morning sickness wasn’t getting the best of her. Or perhaps she was sleeping? She had been up in the wee hours of the morning, so it made perfect sense that she had gone back to bed. 

“Axl, we’ve come to a settlement. If you perform at their venue for two nights, both free, they will settle.” His lawyer explained.

“That’s fine.” Axl nodded as he was ripped away from his thoughts of Stella.

With the last of the meetings over, Axl went to the record company to go over record and merchandise sells as well as demographics of the Guns N’ Roses audience, the amount of 18 to 25 year olds had increased dramatically in the recent months and popularity was continuing to grow. With the good news of the meeting with the record company sent Axl home in a good mood. He was excited to get home to Stella and celebrate over the good news and to be back at home where he could enjoy a lazy day with his beautiful girlfriend. 

His phone buzzed as he turned it back on after the meeting to show he had 5 missed calls from Beta. Since it seemed important, he called her back as he got in the back of a black SUV.

“Axl! Thank god you answered! She’s gone!” Beta was almost hysterical and speaking so quickly that Axl could hardly make out what she was saying.

“Woah, woah. Who is gone? What’s happened?” Axl asked as he felt panic beginning to rise in his body, had Stella left him again? If she had, why? They’d been so happy.

“I found her phone and I called for her all through the house! She’s not here, Axl. The door was wide open, and it looks like there was a struggle.” Beta was trying to calm herself for Axl’s sake, knowing the man could get so easily riled up. 

“I’ll be home soon.” He promised. “Call the police, now.” He said before hanging up the phone.

“Driver, I need you to get me home quickly. This is an emergency.” Axl tried to keep his voice even despite the crushing feeling he had in his chest.

The drive home was the longest ride of Axl’s life. As they passed along the coastline of Malibu that should have been a relaxing scene for him, he felt dread rising in his chest as the car neared the road that would lead up to his home. Stella and his unborn son were in danger and he was helpless now to save them. Though he had no idea what would happen when he left their home, he felt as though he had failed to protect them.

Arriving at the home, a police car was already parked out front. A policeman stood on the front porch taking a statement from Beta, who paused when she saw Axl. He looked devastated once again and she knew he was beating himself up about it.

“I’m calling a private investigator in too. The sooner she’s found, the better.” Was all Axl said as he walked past Beta and into find the scene where the struggle had taken place.

The glass coffee table had been broken and pushed to the side, the area rug under it askew. Various pictures and decorations that had dotted around the area were on the floor and broken. Stella had put up a good fight by the looks of it. Axl picked her cellphone up off the counter and read the unread text message, it was from a restricted number.

Behind you, pretty girl 

Axl suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Had someone been taunting her? If so, how long had it been happening and why hadn’t she told him? He walked unsteadily out to the policeman and handed him the phone with a shaky hand.

“I found this on her phone…” Axl said, trying to speak around the lump forming in his throat.

“Thank you, sir. I promise we will bring her home to you.” The officer promised before heading to his squad car and driving off, leaving Beta and Axl standing on the front porch.

“Axl…I’m so sorry.” Beta apologize, her hand resting on his shoulder.

“I don’t need apologies. I need to find Stella.” Axl said before heading back inside.  
He needed to be alone, needed time to compose himself. His entire body felt like it was trembling, his breath was starting to hitch and his throat. He slammed the door of his room and sat on the bed, his eyes filling with tears that he desperately tried to blink back. The range of emotions he was experience could best be summed up to the feeling of dread.

“Axl, is there anything you need?” Beta called from the other side of the door. 

“Call the private investigator we’ve used in the past.” Axl instructed, trying to mask his wavering voice.

He waited until he heard Beta’s footsteps going faint before allowing a shaky breath out. He could feel the panic attack bubbling up more violently now, his hands were shaking, and he felt like he might pass out. The nausea hit him like a tidal wave, forcing him to stumble towards the bathroom as he gagged.

Getting sick during his panic attacks had been happening since he was a kid, so he knew it was nothing to worry about and there was nothing he could do but sit and wait for the panic attack to end. Once he’d emptied the contents of his stomach, he was crying. His knees were pulled up to his chest as his body shook with a mixture of anxiety and sobs. He couldn’t lose her like this.

Meanwhile, Stella was just coming to. She was chained to a bed by her ankle; though she was able to move about the room, judging by the length of the chain. The room she was in was dark, damp, and lit by a single florescent light. It was more than likely the basement of a home. Her entire body ached and her head pounded as though she had a migraine. 

“Why are you doing this?” Stella called out to the man sitting in the corner of the room, watching her.

“Because your father wouldn’t pay up, so you have to be held here until he does.” The man explained and stood, walking towards her and placing a hand on her cheek. “You might even come to like it here.”

“Get the fuck away from me.” She slapped his hand away, only to find his other hand colliding with her face. The sound of the slap echoed through the room as the man grabbed her by the hair and tugged her hair back so hard she looked at him.

“If you want that baby of yours to make it into this world, I suggest you talk to me kindly.” The man’s voice was threatening, making Stella shrink away as he let go of her hair and left the room.

She touched her cheek, flinching a bit when it stung to the touch. Why was she here? What debt had her father not paid? 

While Stella sat in the cold and damp room, Axl was busy pacing their Malibu mansion trying to figure out who might have taken her and why. Her father! Of course, how could he have been so stupid! Someone was probably holding her for ransom, he just had to get a hold of the person responsible.

But as hours passed and he and Beta tried to reach Stella’s father, mother, sister, and finally brother; they found themselves out of luck. None of the family were answering their phones despite Axl calling several times. Surely, they must know their daughter was missing? Were they out looking for her? 

“Axl, I think its time to call it a night.” Beta said as she glanced to the clock and found it was nearing midnight. They’d been calling her family and calling anyone who might have seen her all night.

“You go on home, I’m going to keep calling.” Axl said as he texted security to see if they could find any footage of Stella being taken. Perhaps the abductor’s face had been caught on camera.

“Axl, please make sure you rest.” Beta frowned.

“I can’t rest knowing my girlfriend and our unborn son are out there and are in danger.” Axl replied shortly before answering a phone call from the head of his security team and Beta left.

Hours turned into days before Axl knew it. There had been footage of the attack and the abduction but no face to identify the man. The car Stella had been put into had a covered license plate which only frustrated Axl further. The police were useless, and his private investigator hadn’t been able to dig up any clues. It was beginning to feel as though they’d never find her.

In the damp basement, Stella had spent days being given only the bare minimum to keep her and the baby alive and she felt weak. On good behavior, her captor had freed her from the chain that connected to the bed. Hours were spent searching for a way that might lead her out of this horrible place and to somewhere where she might get help. After running her hand along the wall, she found a board that had been placed in front of something and as she pulled, she saw light. It was a window! She wasn’t in a basement but was a good mile from the next house over by her judging. It was worth the risk and the door was opening so she didn’t have much time. 

She managed to break the window with the board and climbed out. Her attempts to escape were put to a halt when the captor jumped from the window after her. He was faster and stronger than she was.

“Stupid bitch!” The man shouted as he threw her to the ground once they were inside. “I told you what would happen if you pissed me off!” And so, the beating began, and her life was changed forever.

A couple of weeks had passed and Axl finally had a lead. He woke to the sound of his security lead calling him on the phone, the ringing making his head ache.

“We found her.” Was all the security man had time to say before Axl was on his feet and getting dressed.

“Where is she? Is she being brought home? Is she okay?” Axl was asking when the security man interrupted. 

“Axl, there were some complications that had happened when they found her. She’s being taken to UCLA.” 

“I’m on my way.” Axl felt the all to familiar feeling of dread returning.

It didn’t take long for Axl to get to the hospital, the usual 32-minute drive reduced to 25 minutes with the way he had his driver drive. The nurse leading him down the never-ending twisting and turning of the halls. Finally arriving in Stella’s room, Axl froze at the sight of her. She was deathly pale which contrasted horribly with the bruises that covered her face and all the skin that was exposed by her hospital gown. Cuts lined her face and he could vaguely make out boot prints in her skin. But the pain he felt turned into something unbearable when he saw her stomach. It was flat, like nothing had ever been there to begin with. 

“I assume you’re her boyfriend.” The doctor said as she entered the room.

(TRIGGER)

“The baby?” Axl could barely manage out as he kept his eyes locked on Stella.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Rose. The injuries sustained during the stomping sent her body into shock, resulting in a miscarriage. We found her on the sidewalk outside, someone must have dumped her.” The woman was clearly genuine in her apology and Axl swallowed his tears.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“We don’t know when she will wake up, all we can do is wait. She’s stable for now but she’s not out of the woods. This could be a very long recovery process as we don’t know if she has brain damage or not. We won’t know until she wakes up.”

“Please just leave us alone.” Axl interrupted her and move to sit next to the bed, gently taking her hand. He watched as the doctor left before allowing himself to openly cry, his forehead resting on the bed, all the strength drained from his body. 

He’d felt this pain on a smaller scale when Erin had lost their baby, but it didn’t compare to now. His son was dead and there was no certainty that he would ever get Stella back. 

Misfortune and grief seemed to go hand in hand in Axl’s life, he just hoped he didn’t lose Stella. He couldn’t lose her. She had to be okay.


	12. Wake Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

For hours, Axl sat and stared into space as he listened to silence only broken by the sounds of the various medical machines working to keep Stella alive. He only glanced up to acknowledge Beta’s presence as she entered the room.  
Retelling the events of what happened to Stella as according to the doctors and the police was one of the most painful things Axl had ever had to do. He’d done all he could to remain composed and calm as he told Beta but had ultimately failed. There were no words to describe the pain Axl felt and the helplessness that accompanied it. He’d been so close to having it all, only to have it ripped away from him.  
“We’re going to get to the bottom of this, Axl.” Beta had promised as she watched Axl take hold of Stella’s hand. Her heart ached for the couple, she wished they would be allowed the happiness they deserved and silently cursed the universe for bringing so much pain into their lives.   
It wasn’t until a week later when Axl was on the phone with police and private detectives hoping to find the person responsible for the death of his child and the injuries Stella sustained that something miraculous happened. He had everyone he knew looking for answers. When Axl was beginning to think that the day might be as hopeless and unprogressive as the last day…Stella woke up.  
She woke with a start, a loud gasp filling the room as her green eyes shot open, the sound pulling Axl from his thoughts.  
“Stella?!” He couldn’t believe it, he hadn’t expected her to ever wake up.  
It wasn’t long before doctors and nurses were in the room taking vitals and removing the breathing tube. Once it had been declared that Stella was in the clear, Axl thanked the doctors and saw them out before turning to Stella.  
“Thank god you’re alive…I thought I had lost you.” He admitted with a shaky voice, moving slowly to sit in the chair next to the bed and take her hand.   
“The baby’s gone.” Was all Stella said, monotone and emotionless.  
“They said your body went into shock and the baby died…That fucking monster, I’m going to find who the fuck did this to you.” Axl promised, kissing her hand. It was unlike Stella to be so emotionless, so tuned out from the world.   
Stella didn’t respond verbally, only nodded and rested her hand over her stomach where the baby bump she’d once loved so was now gone. She had been unconscious for several days now, beaten at least a week ago. She looked to Axl who was so desperately trying to hold in his tears and wondered briefly why she wasn’t upset. Her baby…Their baby was gone and she felt nothing.   
“Are you okay?” Axl questioned softly as his hand squeezed hers, pulling her from her own thoughts and pulling her back into the awful reality that was now her life.  
“Yes.” She said, just above a whisper. Why wasn’t she feeling anything?!  
“Are you sure?” Axl pushed a little more, needing some form of reaction from her.  
“I said I’m okay.” She snapped harsher than she’d intended to, her green eyes finding his. “I’m just…hurting.”  
“Try to get some more rest.” Axl spoke quietly and kissed her hand gently.  
Stella nodded and turned to her side, body aching from the lack of movement, the pain of her broken ribs, and the pain of her broken body. She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath, fingers gripping the sheets of the hospital bed. She was safe now, she knew that. So why did she feel like she was still in danger?  
It wasn’t until a nurse came in to push more morphine in her IV that she found herself relaxing and slipping back into a comfortable and numb sleep.   
When she woke, Axl was there and sleeping in the chair he’d been in when she had gone to sleep. The pain was still there but it was a dull ache and wasn’t nearly as awful as it had been. Stella’s hand gently squeezed the older male’s hand as she shifted in bed.  
“He hasn’t moved since you got here.” Beta said as she entered the room and moved to press a motherly kiss to Stella’s head.  
“Why not?” Stella frowned and turned her gaze to her. “I’m sure he’s gotten tired of sitting and watching me sleep.”  
“He’s been worried for you. I don’t think he could have handled losing you.” Beta spoke quietly as she stood next to the bed.  
“He’s okay though…Right?” Stella questioned softly.  
“I’m honestly not sure…Though I could ask the same about you. I heard your reaction to the loss of the baby when you came to. It was quite worrying for him as he’s been so open emotionally about the pain he’s feeling. Typically, it’s you who is open and him who is closed off.”   
“I actually knew before I lost consciousness…I could feel it when he was kicking me in the ribs and stomach.” She blinked back the tears. “I just really don’t want to talk about it.”  
“You need to talk to him about it, remain open with him no matter what.” Beta advised before glancing to Axl as he shifted in his sleep. “Don’t forget that he’s in pain too.”   
“I won’t…I’ll talk when I’m ready.” She said and closed her eyes as she sighed, trying to ignore the dull aching of her ribs that was becoming more and more intense.  
“I’ll leave you to rest, tell Axl I stopped by and told you to tell him he better gets an actual night’s sleep.”  
“I will.” Stella managed a smile.  
________________________________________________  
The next few days in the hospital seemed to go by rather quickly and soon enough, Stella was given permission to go home. Axl had spent most of the day on the phone with various employees trying to ensure that all went smoothly upon Stella’s arrival back home while Stella had spent most of her time staring out the window lost in her thoughts, something Axl had noticed she seemed to do a lot of lately. Their relationship had taken a rather odd turn since they’d been reunited. Stella avoided talking about the events leading up to her kidnapping and avoided the discussion of her feelings regarding the loss of their child. This worried Axl though he knew better than to state such a thing out loud, worried Stella might take it in the wrong fashion. This staring continued through the car ride to their Malibu mansion right up until the car stopped.  
“Welcome home, Stella.” Axl said as he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.   
“Thank you, Axl.” She smiled softly and squeezed his hand before opening the door of the car and stepping out from the backseat.   
“Let’s get you inside to rest.” Axl said as he too got out of the car and took her hand.  
“I’m fine, Axl.” She said as she tugged her hand from his grip and headed towards the home. She was walking strongly until she opened the door and saw the room where it had all begun. Suddenly the air felt like it had been sucked out of her lungs, her eyes burned with tears, panic rose in her. She was having a full-blown panic attack before Axl had even managed to take the five steps forward that separated them.   
“Stella, I’m right here. You’re safe, I promise.” Axl was at her side in an instant, his heart breaking when she looked at him with wide and terrified eyes. “It’s okay.” He said softly, his hand gently cupping her cheek.  
And that was all it took, Stella found herself being pulled back into reality and back into the arms of the man she loved. This was the only thing she was certain of, the only thing she could trust. She was soon calming down, feeling the warmth of his embrace.   
“I-I don’t know what happened.” Stella tried to find her voice, though when she spoke it came out far smaller than she’d intended.  
“I shouldn’t have brought you back here…Where it all began.” He said as he smoothed her hair back. “What do you say we leave? Go somewhere else? Anywhere else?”   
“I can’t keep running away from my problems.” Stella shook her head as she pulled back, lacing their fingers as she did so, and headed inside. He walked with her up the stairs and into their bedroom, quietly reassuring her that he would never let anything happen to her.  
Their lives had changed, whether they wanted to admit it or not. There was not going back from this one and there was no forgetting.


	13. Fighting the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl and Stella struggle to come to terms with what their life has become.

“I’m not your fucking property! I can fucking go out if I please!” Stella shouted and tore herself from Axl’s grip, shoving him back.

“I know exactly where you’re fucking going and I’m not letting you do that to yourself!” Axl shouted as he stumbled back slightly.

It had been like this for the last six months. It had started when Axl had caught Stella downtown buying pain pills from some random man off the streets and had progressed and gotten worse. Stella had eventually contacted Steven Adler, of all people, and had gotten high with him. That’s when Axl had had enough and had started having employees watch her every move, Stella had just found out.

“You fucking watch me, Axl! I’m fucking leaving and you’re not going to stop me.” She shouted again, grabbing her bag and turning to leave, walking out the front door and slamming it behind her. Axl knew better than to follow her at this point, knew better than to try and stop her. If he did, things would turn physical and it was the last thing he wanted. 

“Fuck!” Axl shouted and ran a hand through his hair before grabbing his phone and texting the men he’d hired to follow her.

“We have to do something, Axl.” Beta said as she entered the living room, frowning. 

Axl looked horrible. He’d lost a considerable amount of weight in six months, his skin was pale, and dark rings had begun to form under his eyes. Beta knew that Axl hadn’t been sleeping or eating and she was worried.

“What?! What could I possibly do?!” He exclaimed and shook his head.

“You could try to talk to her, Axl. The two of you haven’t communicated since—” 

“Don’t fucking say it.” Axl snapped, eyes growing dark.

It was true, they hadn’t spoken since they’d lost their child. Just looking at one another had been too painful, and so they had simply coexisted rather than lived as a couple…Until now. Now, things were different. Darker. In many ways, Stella’s behavior mirrored what Axl’s had been when he and Erin had lost their child. He’d grown violent, irrational, and developed an addiction to drugs and alcohol. 

“You need to sit down and talk…At least try, Axl.” Was all Beta said before moving to grab the paper work she’d come to get and leaving.

It wasn’t until later that night that Axl got a call from Stella. She was crying and begging him to come get her and Axl was on his way in a heartbeat. As he drove towards the address she’d given him, he began to wonder if things would ever get better for them or if perhaps they were already finished. The idea of losing Stella pained Axl more than he’d admit to anyone, but he couldn’t keep on with the fighting, the drugs, and the middle of the night calls begging him to come get her. Something had to change.

Axl arrived at the address he was given and got out of the car, walking to where Stella had sat herself on a bench and gently shook her sleeping form. The first time this had happened, he’d been worried she might be dead but had soon learned that after a binge she tended to drift off to sleep after calling Axl crying to pick her up. He sighed when she woke just enough to lean against him as he lifted her around the waist to guide her to his car.

“I’m sorry.” Stella murmured as she woke a bit from her sleep, tired and dilated eyes looking at Axl who said nothing and began driving back home. He was done talking, done telling her it was okay, done telling her things would get better.

When they arrived home, Axl undressed Stella and led her to the bathroom so he could wash the stench of drugs and cigarette smoke out of her hair. After this task was finished, he dried her and helped her dress in one of his tee shirts before setting her in their bed and tucking her in. He then made his way to one of the guest rooms to sleep just as he’d been doing for the last four months. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week had passed and finally Axl decided it was time to sit down and try to talk to Stella like adults. He knew he had no way of relating to the awful trauma she had faced but he had to try to let her know that there were better ways of dealing with things.

“Stella, can we talk?” Axl questioned as Stella walked into the house from her most recent shopping trip. Stella paused, surprised that Axl was speaking to her again.

“Talk?” She set the bags down and took a seat across from him at the dining room table. “About what?”

“What’s been happening.” Axl said, sad green eyes looking up to meet hers. “I’m worried about you.”

“Is that why you have men following my every move?” She snapped and crossed her arms.

“Yes. But I’ve called them off, I realize that it was not the way to handle things. I’m sorry.” He was speaking evenly and rationally though every fiber in his being was wanting to scream at her, be angry and upset about what had been happening.

“You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine.” She lied smoothly, it had become second nature for her.

“Stella. You’re not fine…Neither of us are.” Axl had to admit his feelings too, let her know she wasn’t alone.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” She knew this was heading into talking about the baby and she just couldn’t right now.

“Stella, we have to talk about this.” Axl was trying to stay calm but the emotions were beginning to boil over and cause his voice to shake.

“No! I’m not fucking talking about this! How fucking dare you!” Stella exploded, green eyes appearing furious but holding a deep sadness. “You don’t get to do this, you can’t bring this up!”

Axl couldn’t take anymore. Six months of bottling up his emotions, being afraid to face them. Six months of pretending nothing had happened to them, avoiding the subject. Six months of dealing with Stella’s self-destructive behavior leaving him feeling helpless. Six months of hurt, anger, and grief were finally beginning to surface. And before he could stop himself, he was standing up with such force his chair fell back, his palms slamming on the table causing Stella to gasp.

“I fucking lost my child too! He was my son too!” Axl shouted, tears feeling his eyes as his body began to shake with quiet sobs. His shaking hands went through his hair as he turned away from her, walking to the window to look outside in hopes of regaining composure.

Stella had never seen such an outburst from Axl, had never seen him this upset before. And in that moment, she’d never felt worse about what she’d been doing. She watched as Axl’s body trembled with silent sobs, his back tense. She’d known she needed to get help and had been toying with the idea for the last couple of months, but she had her answer now.

She quietly walked up behind him and reached out to touch his shoulder, her own green eyes filling with tears. She was upset about the loss of their son and felt like a monster for leaving Axl on his own to deal with the grief. She should have been there for him, should have talked about it. 

When her hand touched his shoulder, she moved in front of him so she could hug him properly. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist as his wrapped around her. It was the first time they’d held one another in the last six months, the first time they’d allowed themselves to be open about their emotions and about what was happening to them.  
“I’ll get help, Axl. I promise.” Stella had managed to say after gaining composure of herself, only earning a nod from Axl.

He wouldn’t believe her words until he saw actions being taken to make them a reality. He couldn’t risk false hope and having his expectations crushed.

“Check me into rehab.” She said finally, her eyes meeting his and only earning another nod in return. 

“I will.” Axl said before brushing past her and heading to his music room. The sound of the door closing echoed through the house and soon the sound of the piano filled the empty air.  
Stella moved to look out the window at where their garden used to be, Axl had had it removed after the baby had died and Stella had given up on their gardening project. She wondered what else had changed while she’d been busy getting high. She had noticed Axl’s change in weight and the dark circles that had appeared under his eyes, he had stopped eating as often as he should have been. He looked like a ghost of the man Stella had fallen in love with. 

She let out a sob and quickly covered her mouth to muffle it, her legs suddenly giving out and causing her to sink to the floor. She was a monster. She’d left Axl on his own to arrange the funeral for their son, she hadn’t even attended it. She’d been too busy with Steven getting high. Axl had handled everything for her and she’d repaid him by treating him like shit. She’d gotten too caught up in her own grief to worry about his. She’d destroyed the already broken man she’d so desperately tried to fix. She knew what she had to do….  
She had to leave.

She had to leave, clean up her act, and let Axl recover from the hell she’d put him through. She moved to her feet and hurried for their room, throwing clothes into her suitcase as quietly as she could before rushing down the stairs and out the door, demanding one of the employees took her to the airport. She had to go back to her brother’s home. She couldn’t leave a note and tell Axl where she was going because he would come looking for her and she couldn’t hurt him anymore, she had to protect him.

She had to protect him from her.


	14. End of the Affair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Axl goes through hell but Duff is there to pick up the pieces this time. Trigger warning: Mental instability, suicide attempt mentioned, eating disorder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter deals with Axl's life falling apart, a suicide attempt, mental health issues, and an eating disorder.   
> I felt like I would try to explore my characterization of Axl. I see Axl as a very sensitive being having been through such emotional/childhood trauma. Having gone through a childhood similar to Axl's, I feel that I project a bit of my sadness into his character. But I hope it's believable given he's a sensitive guy.   
> Note: He's never been diagnosed with BPD, but to me he shows the symptoms:   
> Episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety, Aggressive behavior, Self-harm, Drug or alcohol abuse, Binge eating or spending, Frequent changes in life goals, Poor self-esteem, Feelings of emptiness, Fear of being alone, Intense, but unstable relationships, Suicide threats or suicide attempts, Impulsiveness, Manipulative behavior.   
> REVIEW PLEASE AND RECIEVE COOKIES!  
> Also, tell me if you'd like this story to go gay because I'd be down for AXL/DUFF. Let me know what you think!

It had been a year since his entire world managed to fall apart again. A year since he’d found the torturous existence of his life to be unbearable. A year since Duff and Slash broke down his bedroom door. A year since he’d tried to kill himself. 

He’d known that depression was beginning to consume his world again, he’d felt it creeping up on him after Stella left. He’d been devastated to find she’d left again without a single word, but oddly relieved. He thought that some time apart would do them good. 

He was wrong.

Considering he was still struggling with the grief of losing their son, Axl had found it hard to go out and be around people. Even avoiding Duff and Slash when they’d invited him places or tried to be there to support him. While he knew their intentions were good, they just didn’t understand the pain he was going through. He had been abandoned again, he was alone and had pushed everyone away.

This is what had led him to downing an entire bottle of sleeping pills and Jack Daniels. This is what had led to a panicked Duff and Slash breaking down his bedroom door and calling the paramedics. This is what had led him to have his stomach pumped and placed in the ICU. This is what had led him to being placed under suicide watch in the psych unit and eventually seeking treatment at a mental health facility.

He could hear the hushed whisper of nurses outside his door talking about him. Talking about who he was, speculating about what might have caused him to fall so far from grace.

“He never speaks during our sessions.” A doctor said to Beta when asked about how he was doing. “He just…stares out the window. He doesn’t try to engage in any social activity we suggest. But the good news is he’s stable and eating again. My guess is this bit of silence is more of a control thing.” 

“At home he does the same. He rarely speaks to anyone, won’t touch his piano. I’ve never seen him like this.” Beta frowned.

“He’s suffering from not only extreme grief and recovering from his eating disorder, but also dealing with his new diagnosis.”

“Borderline Personality Disorder.” Beta finished for the doctor.

“Yes. How has he been handling that at home?” The doctor asked as he crossed his arms.

“Your guess is as good as mine, he won’t acknowledge it.” She sighed softly.

“My advice is to give him the space he needs, encourage him to go out with Duff and Slash as they seem to be a good part of his life.” The doctor smiled reassuringly.

“I will.” She nodded once before moving over to the chair across the large room Axl was sitting in.

“Are you ready to go?” She questioned, earning a nod.

Months passed and one day a major break-through was made. It happened when Duff was over early one morning making breakfast before their morning jog when Axl finally spoke.

“I want to know what happened to Stella.” His voice was raspy after not using it for a while, his green eyes staring intently at Duff, a determined look on his face. “I want to know she’s okay and not dead somewhere in a junkie house.”

“Do you have any idea where she might be?” Duff asked as he pour their breakfast shakes in two glasses.

“No.”

“Where did she go last time?” Duff said before sipping his shake.

“Her brother's…I’ve already reached out there, she’d left by the time I’d reached out. Her brother wouldn’t answer any questions.” Axl responded.

“Maybe you should wait a little longer, surely he would have told you if she was missing or if something had happened to her.” 

“It’s been two years…” Axl responded and stared down at his shake, his appetite faltering.   
“Drink your shake, Axl. You don’t need to fall of the wagon again with your eating.” Duff said as he pointed to Axl’s drink. “Drink.”

Axl slid it away and shook his head as he sighed, hands running through his read locks. “I can’t right now. I need to know where she is.”

“Axl...”

“Duff, I know she’s probably found someone else and moved on…But I need to know she’s okay.” Axl explained as he stirred his shake with a straw. “I just don’t know where to begin.”

“Don’t worry about that, worry about keeping yourself healthy. Slash and I will see what we can find.” Duff offered a reassuring smile, an arm wrapping around his friend’s shoulders. “You know I’m always here for you, right? And Slash is too?”

“I know. Thank you.” Axl managed a smile and sipped his shake. “I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t found me…Hadn’t been so hands on in my recovery.”

“That’s what brothers are for.” Duff said as he moved to grab their tennis shoes. “Are you ready for your jog?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Axl managed another smile and took his shoes, slipping them on and tying them.

In the following months, it was Duff that really grew close with Axl. The two were back to how they used to be. Axl, the powerful and sometimes unstable force, prone to outburst of emotion and irrational thought…And Duff, the quiet and calming force that could calm Axl down and pull him back into reality. There to calm him from his panic attacks, make him eat healthy, and sooth his irrational fears. He was there when Axl thought the whole world was beginning to crash back down on him, and there when Axl called him in the middle of the night upset about his lost son or a nightmare he’d had. Duff was there.

Things were finally beginning to look up for Axl again and he thought he could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He was surrounded by people that genuinely cared for him and wanted to help him. Duff was working to find Stella and Slash had contacts in Europe looking. He still struggled with eating from time to time but of course Duff would be there to gently encourage him. He’d began to play piano again and managed to find the joy in it just as he always had throughout life.

On the four-year mark of Axl’s suicide attempt, Axl spent the day with Duff. Duff had stepped out to take an important phone call and Axl was toying with a few notes on the piano trying to create a melody when Duff came rushing back in.

“They found her.” Duff’s words caused Axl to freeze, green eyes growing wide as he stared at Duff. “I mean it, Axl. They found Stella.”

“Is she okay? Where is she? Is she alive?” Axl began to blurt out any and every question he could think of. He needed to know she was okay, know she wasn’t living in some junkie shack, needed to know she was alive.

“She’s alive…” Duff said as he rushed to turn on the news.

“Authorities have just released an official statement regarding the capture of mob boss Martin Scott.” The reporter was saying, pictures of Stella and her family flashing across the screen. 

“That’s who I was hiding her from when Beta brought her here?” Axl said, his mouth feeling dry.

“Yes.” Duff responded. 

“They were after her when the shooter came and when she was kidnapped….They were planning to….To kill our child?” Axl felt dizzy, short of breath, and sick. She’d never told him, he’d never asked. Had he known, things would have been different. He would have never left her alone. She would have never been kidnapped.

“Axl, you need to breathe.” Duff said as calmly as he could, moving to Axl and kneeling in front of him. “Breathe like me.”

But Axl wasn’t having it. He pushed Duff away from him and stood, pacing. He had to talk to her, had to apologize for not doing his job to protect her, had to make sure she was okay during the capture of her father.

“Do you know where she is? What happened to lead to the capture?” Axl croaked out, green eyes staring right into Duff’s soul.

“Beta is going to pick her up from the airport…It seems she’s the only innocent one in the family. Her brother and father were fighting for power, her brother put the hit out on Stella to throw his father off the track. He didn’t want his father to know he was planning to overthrow him….That’s all I know.” Duff gave all the information he’d received.

“She’s coming here?!” Axl’s eyes grew wide. Was he ready for this?

“Axl, you really need to calm down, you’re going to have another panic attack.”

“I-I..Duff…I’m worried.” Axl said quietly as he looked at his best friend.

“I know, it’s okay to be worried. But you must know things have changed again…You’re doing so well, from what I understand so is she. You two are different people than you were four years ago.” Duff smiled and patted Axl’s shoulder. “You can do this.”

Duff moved to clean up the kitchen and Axl headed upstairs to shower and make himself presentable for the arrival of Stella. By the time he was showered and dressed, his hands were shaking from the anxiousness of seeing Stella again.

“What am I going to do if she’s moved on?” Axl asked as he walked downstairs to catch Duff before he left.

“You’re going to be okay. I promise. Take things one thing at a time. Don’t stress yourself out.” Duff said and pulled Axl in for a quick, friendly hug. “Good luck. If you need me I’m a call away.” 

Now alone, Axl paced nervously and only stopped when the front door opened and Stella walked in, their eyes connecting. They were both frozen to the spot, Axl’s breath caught in his throat. She’d matured slightly but was just as beautiful as ever. Her eyes still held the sadness that matched his own and the intensity that had drawn him in to begin with.

“Stella.” Was all Axl said, he didn’t trust his voice not to shake if he spoke anymore.

“Axl…I..” Stella was at loss for words too. He’d changed drastically since the last time she saw him. He wasn’t the stoic figure she’d first met, but wasn’t the open person she’d come to know. He looked afraid, vulnerable, and unsure. She had heard from Beta about the hell Axl had endured during their time apart and her heart was broken now that she stood there facing the man who’d only asked not to be alone. The man who’d only ever asked to be loved. The man who’d loved her so unconditionally and patiently that he’d put up with her drug addiction. 

“You look well.” Axl responded, gaining some of his composure and beginning to build his walls up.

“You’re here.” Stella hadn’t expected him to be there when she arrived.

“I live here. The guest house will be prepared for you.” He stated as he shifted uncomfortably under the intensity of her gaze.

“I can stay in a hotel if I’ll be any trouble..”

“No. You’re safer here.” Was all Axl said before retreating to his room, closing the door behind him, and sliding down it. He couldn’t breathe again and felt like he was on the verge of tears. He needed to call Duff.

“Hello?” Duff’s voice came through the speaker on the phone.

“I need help…I-I don’t know what to say. I ran away, I’m in my room. I feel like such a fucking idiot.” Axl was growing agitated with himself.

“Take a breath. You’re not expected to say anything. You’ve done nothing wrong, Axl.” Duff responded.

“I-I…What should I do?”

“Be yourself. Don’t hide, don’t be afraid. She’s not here to fight Axl.” 

“I-I gotta go. I think I’m going to be sick.” Axl said before hanging up the phone and running a hand through his hair as he took a shaky breath.

Meanwhile, Stella was helping Beta unpack. 

“He’s thin.” Stella spoke to break the silence.

“He’s battled an eating disorder…Of course he’s thin.” Beta snapped but regretted it the moment she saw the hurt look on Stella’s face. “I’m sorry.”

“An eating disorder?” Stella felt sick now and took a seat on her bed.

“Things got dark for Axl very quickly, Stella. We’re lucky he’s still with us.” Beta said quietly as she sat down next to the young woman.

“I never meant to hurt him.” Stella looked to Beta. 

“I know…And I think that deep down he knows it.” Beta patted her knee before leaving Stella alone to her thoughts.

Axl had tried to busy himself with looking over his sheet music but was finding it difficult to focus knowing Stella was back in his life.

“I’m sorry.” Stella said as she entered the music room. She needed to talk to him, try to smooth things out.

“Don’t be.” Axl responded coolly, eyes not leaving the sheet music.

“Axl…Won’t you just look at me?” Stella asked as she advanced slowly towards him.

“How can I?” Axl spat, anger boiling in him for a reason he couldn’t quite place. “You just fucking picked up and left…Again.” 

“Axl, I needed to protect you.”

“By leaving without a note? Without a single fucking word? You promised me, Stella. You promised you wouldn’t do that again.” Axl was trying to keep his voice from shaking. “Do you realize how fucking worried I was? You come home the night before from a binge, we fight, you disappear. Forgive me if I fail to see how you were protecting me.”

“Axl, I had to get away. I had to clean myself up.”

“I would have helped you, I told you I’d help you. Now please get out.” Axl tried to keep his voice strong, hands shaking as he tried to keep his emotions in check.

“Axl…”

“I said get out!” He shouted, green eyes full of rage and sorrow meeting hers. 

“No. You wanted to talk…Well now I’m here.”

“I wanted to talk four years ago…I don’t want to talk now. You walking out said enough.” He spat.

“And your refusal to acknowledge the loss of our son somehow said more?” Stella was angry now.

“I planned the funeral and attended it.”

“Don’t throw that in my face, Axl.” Stella sounded defeated and hurt now.

“It’s the truth. You could have attended.” Axl put his papers aside. 

“Axl, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put you through that. But I was too afraid to confront what I was feeling head on and I ran. You deserved better than that.” Stella said as she moved to sit next to him on the piano bench. “You deserve better than that.”

“I’m tired. Please leave.” He said as he stood from the piano bench and walked over to the window. He sounded defeated this time around and this left Stella with no choice but to leave him alone. 

“I missed you, for what that’s worth.” Stella said quietly before leaving the room.

Things were broken and Axl wasn’t sure they would ever be able to be fixed. Unsure if he would ever be fixed. He’d opened up and had had the most beautiful relationship he could have hoped for…And now, things were right where they started. He was worse than when this had all started and he didn’t think he could survive another heart break.


	15. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things shift dramatically for everyone's favorite redhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize this will make many of you unhappy with the story and it might seem a little OOC but I promise this is all for a good reason! Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy! Please review and let me know what you think!

Chapter 15: Rain

A week of silence between the two had passed and Stella didn’t think she could take any more of the awkward accidental eye contact and constant avoidance of each other. Axl, on the other hand, felt perfectly fine avoiding Stella at all costs. He didn’t want to confront the issue at hand and talk to her. He didn’t want to be reminded of all the pain he’d gone through in the years she was gone. So, he spent his days with Duff.  
“Axl, you okay?” This was the third time Duff had found Axl staring into space.   
“Hm?” Axl’s green eyes looked up to meet the deep golden brown of Duff’s that had pulled him back into the present time. “Oh… Yeah. I was just thinking is all.” Axl shrugged and sipped his water.  
“About?” Duff rose a brow.   
“The past…” Axl’s eyes darkened as he ran his thumbs along the glass.  
“Axl, you have to stop beating yourself up over something you can’t control.” Duff said as he shook his head disapprovingly. “If you’re still so hung up over her, you might as well talk to her.”  
“I can’t.” Axl said, cutting Duff’s sentence short.  
“Why not?” Duff asked. “She wants to talk… You obviously do too, so what’s the problem?”  
“Everything’s the problem…How do we come back from something like this? How am I supposed to sit there and look at her after all that’s happened?”  
“Susan and I went through some pretty shitty times before we were married and before we had children. Several of our fights put us close to ending it, a couple of times she did leave. It was my fault, my alcohol addiction, that caused it...” Duff’s brows furrowed.  
“How did you get past it?” Axl asked, desperate for any solution to this problem.  
“We talked to one another…Even if we had to sit there and scream at each other. We wouldn’t leave the room until we had talked it out.” Duff explained. “Even if she threw stuff at me or if I called her every nasty word I could think of…We stayed right where we were until it was worked out.” Duff explained and offered a reassuring smile to his friend. “I’ve spoken to Stella here and there since she’s come back…She’s truly sorry for what she put you through. Talk to her Axl, but remember that she’s not who she was when she left.”  
“She’s changed.” Axl nodded and sighed softly. “We both have.”  
“I gotta get going, I have to pick up my daughters from school.” Duff said as he checked the time on his phone and stood.  
“Tell them I said hello.” Axl said, earning a nod and smile from the blonde.  
“Oh, and Axl?” Duff paused his stride to the door, glancing back to the red-head. “You’re going to be okay, don’t worry about the small things. Remember to breathe.” And with that, the blonde bassist headed off to tend to his family.  
Axl stood and placed his glass in the sink before heading out in the garden, frowning when he saw the dark clouds looming in the distance. It wasn’t often they got rain. Never the less, he decided he had time for a quick walk through the neighborhood, he needed fresh air.  
He walked down the driveway and out onto the street, heading up the winding road of the canyon. He needed to clear his thoughts, figure out what he was going to say to Stella and how he would approach her. She’d been a ghost since they’d fought, she’d done her best to stay out of his way and make her presence known as little as possible. He thought about walking right up to the guest house door, knocking, and telling her they needed to talk…But he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to be rude. He then thought about how he could always call her and ask her to meet him for dinner so they could talk, but he didn’t think he could eat much with his nerves so frayed.   
At some point during his journey walking along the road, the clouds that had once been in the distance were above him and rain was pouring down. Making his way down the canyon road, he heard thunder rumbling only making him hurry that much faster. As he neared his house, he collided with none other than Stella who stumbled back only to be caught by Axl.  
And there they stood, drenched in rain, hearts pounding and staring at each other, both slightly breathless from their runs for the house. The rain was forgotten for a moment as Axl let her go once she’d found her footing, their eyes still locked. Both aching desperately to speak but afraid to.   
“We should probably get inside.” Stella was the one to break the silence, earning a nod from Axl. They quickly made their way to the house and inside, shivering as the cold AC met their drenched clothing.   
“I’ll get us some towels.” Axl said, feeling awkward now.   
“Thanks.” Stella managed a small smile as she watched Axl walk into the downstairs bathroom before emerging with towels.  
‘Don’t worry about the small things...Remember to breathe.’ Duff’s words echoed in Axl’s mind as he handed Stella a towel before beginning to dry his hair.  
“Axl –”  
“Stella –” They cut one another off, both offering a bit of a smile and Stella motioning for Axl to go on.  
“Stella…I’m ready to talk to you.” Axl said, there was no going back now. “I want to talk.”  
“I was going to say the same thing…I want to apologize to you.” Stella said as she wrapped the towel around herself.  
“It’s okay.” Axl said, not wanting to hear her apologize to him, now desperately wanting to back track on his words.  
“No, Axl…It’s not okay. What I did to you was in no way, shape, or form okay. I was stupid, immature, and irrational and I hurt you. I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for ignoring you, for making you go through the loss of our baby alone. What I did was unforgivable, Axl.” Stella’s eyes were filling with tears and Axl felt a dull ache in his chest, reminding him of her first night there when he found her crying.  
“It’s in the past.”  
“Axl…I left you to plan the funeral, left you to grieve on your own, left you alone at the funeral…” Stella’s voice was just above a whisper, tears now freely cascading down her pale, porcelain cheeks.  
“You were struggling with your own demons and so was I…What happened…” Axl paused trying to find the right words. “What happened to us was enough to tear anyone apart.” He said, reciting the things that Duff had told him along his own journey to recovery.  
“When I found out how much you’d been struggling, that you were almost gone forever…” Stella took a shaky breath. “I realized I had to come back. I had to see you, know that you were okay. I didn’t care if you hated me, if you never wanted to see me again.” She looked up at him and saw that he’d moved across the room, looking out at the garden like he always had when his emotions were beginning to get the better of him.  
Axl was staring out the window, trying to keep his breathing steady and his feelings at bay. He didn’t want to cry anymore, didn’t want to feel angry anymore, didn’t want to question every move he made anymore. He didn’t know how to talk to Stella. He wanted to, but he couldn’t. As his mind was beginning to turn to self-depreciating ideations, he felt arms wrap around his torso and a face bury into his back. Those arms that had pulled him back into reality belonged to Stella. His first instinct was to push her away, and so he shrugged her off and turned to look at her.   
“I-I’m sorry…I just didn’t want you to be upset alone.” Stella was stammering and trying to find the right words as her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as Axl stared at her with a look she’d never seen before which caused her to take a couple of steps back. He looked trapped, cornered, and tense.  
“Leave, don’t come back.” Axl said, his voice raw, the same trapped expression on his face as he pushed past her, heading up the steps two at a time. He had to let her go, had to move forward. He couldn’t continue to dwell in the past. He had to move forward. Even if it meant leaving Stella behind.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lost muse for this story and figured this would be a good ending point! Enjoy! I'm currently working on a Duff/Axl fanfiction!

Chapter 16: Epilogue 

Axl sat in the window sill of his bedroom, staring out at the ocean. It had been exactly a year since he sent Stella out of his life and had decided it was okay to be alone. The sting of being alone again and allowing the woman he thought was the one walk out of his life was hard, almost unbearable. Had it not been for none other than Duff McKagan.   
Just as always, Duff had been right there to pick Axl back up and piece him back together. This left Axl feeling close to Duff just as he had when they were young and had found himself looking for excuses to be around his old friend and to go out with other friends he’d made along the way. It was during this time that he had found he felt good about himself again and the sting of being alone was gone now that he had his friends and adopted family to surround him.   
In the year that he’d been on his own, Axl had learned that some people were meant to be in his life for only a short time and to teach him a lesson. He knew now that the company of a woman, or a person to cling to was not the answer. He could manage on his own and be his own person without feeling empty.  
Life had a funny way of teaching lessons, but for the first time in a long time…Axl was ready to let the lessons happen.


End file.
